Whoever is reading this, I just wanted to say is hang in there. I completely understand the fear of wondering if that special someone is going to be part of your life. I understand how you feel and there is no need to feel ashamed of your own fears.
Focus on loving yourself, go out and meet people, keep your head up high and be confident . Most importantly take your time...trust me you're not missing out.
Bubblegumcake is correct in what she says! You must learn to love yourself and believe in yourself before you can allow someone in to your life to love and care for. May I suggest bringing a pet into your life as well A dog or cat gives unconditional love and the feeling you get from that warms your heart. When I'm at home alone with my cats and Arnie jumps on my lap and starts giving me kisses and nudges the feeling I get from that is amazing.