If you read my profile it'll explain that although I have a disability, I am also an in home care provider! One of my clients is in his mid twenties and has SMA type 2. Even though it is a "professional" relationship, we get along and he knows I am a very open minded person. We've spoken a lot about the horrible stigma that goes with sex and disability. I've recently been helping him out a little bit by going with him to a sex store and helping him buy this like guy masturbation toy. It's actually really nice since it like wraps around and stays on and you can even use it with a partner since it has a remote..Anyways, I decided I was totally comfortable with putting it on him and then leaving the room. I know some people would be totally against this or think it's basically prostitution or whatever, but I see it as he has a right to experience that and It not like I'm somehow apart of the sexual act really, I'm just like a third party helper haha. Has anyone here ever been in my or my clients position? Thoughts on where I would have to draw the line? I am in no way considered one but has anyone here ever tried sex surrogacy ?
Hi,I am a carer in the uk,I would lose my job if I helped a client in this way.
At the moment it's not an issue with my clients as they are mostly elderly lol but I have worked with some around my age and younger,with different disabilities, unfortunately not everyone is as open minded, we (carers) are all told to protect ourselves as well as those we care for and keep everything above board and professional.
Personally I don't think someone having a surrogate should be a problem, everyone should have access to intimacy, wether it's purely sexual or just being cuddled, massaged etc , we are only human after all , And some people might just want to make a connection , and be reminded, regardless of their ability/disability they are human, I think it's good your open minded and your client can talk to you , I would just be cautious your employer doesn't take offence to it lol and I probably would draw the line at what you've already done,if you know an agency that can do more for him then let him know about it.
I don't work for an agency so don't worry! I get that it might not be the "right" thing to do. But I mean I touch his penis kinda often since I bathe him, chance his catheter, or putting baby powder around the area. He pretty much always gets an erection, and I never think too much into it as I have talked to many nurses who have had patients get erections around them and they still carry on with whatever theyre doing and might explain the patient that its nothing to be ashamed about and that it is just a natural reflex. So since all I am doing is putting his toy on and then leaving the room and then taking it off I do not see it as wrong or unethical. Sex is a basic human need! There are also 1 million reasons masturbation is good for your health. The only issue is I do not like cleaning up after it (although sometimes there is nothing to clean up). But I also help and clean up after assisting with toileting and I'm not too fond of that either so I see it as just another body fluid that needs to be cleaned haha
My only worry for you was any employer, but you don't work for an agency or anything so draw the proverbial line where you and he are comfortable,I don't personally see a problem with what your doing if your both comfortable with each other and yup it is a completely natural reaction when your dealing with personal care ... and I completely agree with you btw , it's just I work for the council so it's extremely frowned upon to cross that professional line lol