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TOPIC: life isnt fair

life isnt fair 1 week 5 days ago #66688

sorry I cant figure out under what forum topic thingy I should be in, don't really care as I am here doing this I don't know why I do know that I shouldn't its well I don't know how to put this, I'm already enough of a target as it is and I'm only making things worse for myself even thinking of coming back to this. now that that's out of the way, judge me if you wish since I am autistic I'm nothing but, nothing but judged as seen as some negative person, sure I know I don't know how to behave or act know what to say how to say it and when to say it or know how to read and respond to social queues, so go ahead and say think I'm a bad negative person I probably do deserve it even though I have never done any thing wrong in my life and yet my life is plagued with "bad karma". I know this is going to get me banned I don't really care was planning on leaving the site anyway cause I'm not wasting anymore time on yet another site that will not and can not do anything for me god knows ive been down this road a lot before and I'm getting sick of it, I honest don't know why I even bother with anything anymore I should just accept the fact I'm nothing but a failure and leave it at that and besides I wouldn't have to deal with the feeling of disappointment constantly and is pretty much the only feeling I know besides anger and loneliness, do know having a gf would definitely help but well all I have to say is that I'm just too far messed up for something like that in other words such a thing isn't meant for someone like myself its a long story actually and I just don't care to get in to it cause it just doesn't matter one bit if I tell it or not so not wasting my time with that. wouldn't blame you if you decided to go rite ahead and hit the report thingy or whatever its called. I know I'm the kind that just doesn't belong or fit in anywhere. will be logging out of this site now and for the last time

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life isnt fair 1 week 5 days ago #66689

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Hi, I’m sorry you feel so low, and you feel the site isn’t working for you , but I’m not sure having a girlfriend would make things better for you , unless you can first accept who you are, and know you have a right to live your life without feeling like a failure or feeling out of place , I know , easier said than done right? But that goes for just about anyone , it might just be that it’s a little harder for you than the average Joe, if you feel so messed up, do you have counselling, someone to talk to , help you figure out what you can do to make life better for you, once you can accept yourself and realise your not wasting your time as long as you don’t give up on yourself, then you can be a bit or a lot happier and that girl your looking for will find , understand and accept and love you , but like I said , you can try to accept, understand and love yourself before asking someone else to , whatever you decide to do , take care and good luck .

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life isnt fair 1 week 5 days ago #66693

What you've just articulated is what many of us have felt from time to time. I'd bet that some reading this take comfort in knowing that they are not alone. You are not alone! Life sometimes gets rough and we let our negative thoughts define us. You are so much more than the negative thoughts your brain is feeding you. Don't buy into it. No one in this world is perfect. Autism is tough, but autism awareness is so pervalent that more people may understand your struggle than you realize. Life can be disappointing and lonely, but it can also be hopeful. At least for me, combating the negative thoughts with gratitude is most helpful. When we're feeling down, it's hard to be grateful, but with a little discipline it can make a difference. Every hour or every couple hours, I just try to pause and think of something pleasant (sunset, quiet of the night, crisp fall air) or something to be grateful for. Before long, these thoughts replace the negative ones and I'm feeling better.

Your post was great! Nothing to report. You do fit in here! Give yourself credit for having the strength to post sougmething many of us wouldn't have the courage to post. You are so much more valuble than you realize. We're here to support you and would like you to stay. That's what these forums are for. :)
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Last Edit: by Georgette.

life isnt fair 1 week 5 days ago #66694

shy_alien what you have written here is nothing that needs reporting, you have opened your heart which is very brave and I'm sure you would be a great member in being a support to others with Autism on this forum. Maybe you could write a blog on here? Or even just post now and again offering support to others with Autism? It's members like you who are willing to open your heart that are needed on the forum, so please reconsider leaving the site and maybe think about being an advocate on here for others with Autism.

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life isnt fair 1 week 2 days ago #66711

Shy alien you need to get out of your own head WE can be our own worst enemy

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life isnt fair 3 days 4 hours ago #66809

I'm thinking of not replying this thread since you said that you are about to leave and won't ever come back. But I kind of hope that you did come back and read all the replies here. So I guess I should just write my thoughts about it :)

Just like Georgette said you've just articulated what many of us have felt from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that. I've felt it every now and then, wishing that I have a better life, wishing that life isn't this "sucks", etc.

I remember why I first sign up on this site, it was years ago and it was because at that time I fell desperately lonely, I need some friends but then I didn't felt that I belong here as well, just like how you feel. So I left it and never logged in for years. Until now.

Why? Because I still feel lonely but not as desperate as I used to feel back then. I feel a lot better and I have a positive thinking that I might fit in here, if I just try it again and communicate.

So here I am and your thread is the first thread I read. So I suppose I would like to share with you things that I have learned that might not change your situation but it might change your thinking and believe me, sometimes, that's all you need to feel a bit better about life :)

First of all here's a quote that help me to accept things, it is from M. Scott Peck from his book "The Road Less Traveled"

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.


Yes that's it - Life is Difficult and we have to really understand this and accept it. Most of the time we have this conception of how life should be. Life should've been easy and that's why we are fixated on how unfair life is. But the truth is, Life is hard, it is difficult and that is why we should always remember, that way we could "moved on" since we've already know the fact about life.

Another book that has a very good point is a book from Mark Manson "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" - I know the title is a bit provocative :P but there's a lot of good stuffs there. My favorite one is on the 5th chapter - You Are Always Choosing. Here's the thing, we always think that we shouldn't be responsible for our disability, after all we didn't asked for it, right? It might also be someone else's fault (just like in my case) but the truth is, it doesn't matter. You still have to choose how to response to it.

On that book Mark gave an example - It's like finding someone's putting a baby in front of our house. We don't know who put that baby there, we definitely don't feel responsible for it. But the fact that the baby was there made us have to do something about it.

Are we going to the police and report it? Are we just going to leave it there? or are we going to put it on the dumpster? (*ouch that is a cruel response, but still a response though)

So no matter what, whether it's our fault or not, this life we have been given, we are responsible for it and whatever you think, you will always have choice to response to it. You could do nothing about it because you don't want to (that's still a response) or you could take the responsibility and make the best out of it.

One last thing that I would like to say is, we are not here to pursue happiness. That is what we think we should do, that's why we always feel miserable. The fact is, we are here to learn, we are here to feel things. So don't burden yourself.. When we can accept our life for what it is and take every situation as an opportunity to learn, you would find yourself already having a better life than you used to have :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: Justme64

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life isnt fair 3 days 2 hours ago #66810

sometimes life isnt fair....but life is what you as a person makes of it all.... if you sit and wallow in a hole then you are goin to feel let down by things..... if u get up and do things to take you out of that hole... that will help

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life isnt fair 1 day 6 hours ago #66818

Welcome back!! I'm so glad you have decided to come back and give us another try. And thank you for writing such a positive post. Look forward to reading some more of your posts!!! :)


leyoniy wrote: I'm thinking of not replying this thread since you said that you are about to leave and won't ever come back. But I kind of hope that you did come back and read all the replies here. So I guess I should just write my thoughts about it :)

Just like Georgette said you've just articulated what many of us have felt from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that. I've felt it every now and then, wishing that I have a better life, wishing that life isn't this "sucks", etc.

I remember why I first sign up on this site, it was years ago and it was because at that time I fell desperately lonely, I need some friends but then I didn't felt that I belong here as well, just like how you feel. So I left it and never logged in for years. Until now.

Why? Because I still feel lonely but not as desperate as I used to feel back then. I feel a lot better and I have a positive thinking that I might fit in here, if I just try it again and communicate.

So here I am and your thread is the first thread I read. So I suppose I would like to share with you things that I have learned that might not change your situation but it might change your thinking and believe me, sometimes, that's all you need to feel a bit better about life :)

First of all here's a quote that help me to accept things, it is from M. Scott Peck from his book "The Road Less Traveled"

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.


Yes that's it - Life is Difficult and we have to really understand this and accept it. Most of the time we have this conception of how life should be. Life should've been easy and that's why we are fixated on how unfair life is. But the truth is, Life is hard, it is difficult and that is why we should always remember, that way we could "moved on" since we've already know the fact about life.

Another book that has a very good point is a book from Mark Manson "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" - I know the title is a bit provocative :P but there's a lot of good stuffs there. My favorite one is on the 5th chapter - You Are Always Choosing. Here's the thing, we always think that we shouldn't be responsible for our disability, after all we didn't asked for it, right? It might also be someone else's fault (just like in my case) but the truth is, it doesn't matter. You still have to choose how to response to it.

On that book Mark gave an example - It's like finding someone's putting a baby in front of our house. We don't know who put that baby there, we definitely don't feel responsible for it. But the fact that the baby was there made us have to do something about it.

Are we going to the police and report it? Are we just going to leave it there? or are we going to put it on the dumpster? (*ouch that is a cruel response, but still a response though)

So no matter what, whether it's our fault or not, this life we have been given, we are responsible for it and whatever you think, you will always have choice to response to it. You could do nothing about it because you don't want to (that's still a response) or you could take the responsibility and make the best out of it.

One last thing that I would like to say is, we are not here to pursue happiness. That is what we think we should do, that's why we always feel miserable. The fact is, we are here to learn, we are here to feel things. So don't burden yourself.. When we can accept our life for what it is and take every situation as an opportunity to learn, you would find yourself already having a better life than you used to have :)

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