Dating people with disabilities

bjjazzy,

First of all, I feel a little odd here because I am a married woman, but a lot of what you have said certainly pertains to all people with disabilities. I found that the first group of people to disappear from my life when I started to have chronic depressive and pain issues was a good portion of my family. Then my friends. Then my church. I can remember being normal, husband and I lived on 1 income and we had good insurance. Then the economy crashed about 4 years ago and we went from living what most would call the "American Dream" to selling furniture out the door to pay bills. We lost everything but a small house that used to be a rental property. Part of why we lost it, was that my husband's employer, who was his brother, didn't want to cover his portion of my health insurance. So my husband was kicked to the curb. Anyway, yes, I get it, the loneliness, isolation and the feeling of not being quite good enough because you don't have a bank account. If I lost my husband, I don't know what I'd do. He is my friend, my lover, my main support. I can't imagine being single. But heck, I'm not even sure I'd want me if I were a guy looking for someone. And, yes, the internet can be a crazy place. This forum is relatively sane, I think, and one always has the option of not reading something if one finds it offensive. So I'm starting to ramble, so I'll stop. But I DO understand.
BTW, love your pics with your saxophone. Years ago I played trumpet in my school band and then also French Horn. I loved being in music because it gave me a sense of belonging to a group, but also gave me a sense of accomplishment as an individual. Recently bought a folk guitar. We'll see how my fibromyalgia-pained hands deal with that!

Jana

hi richard,

your situation is not that much different from mine. while you get contacted by females from africa, i get chat pals even meet up with men from other countries much more than my own. though i am not so disabled if that is the right term for that ( i can walk, just with bad gait, i have a decent job and can pay my bills, even ride a public transport with no need for assistance ) i am still seen as someone unique and perceived to be "ugly" in my societies standard of beauty. men from where i am ( single and looking ) are scared to be discriminated simply being seen with me. Only those who are open minded of my condition do get to enjoy my company.

I gotten the same thing as you , I get hit on like crazy, they see all my talents too, but when the word disability comes up, or how my living situation is, or how much money, etc, car or no car, kind of car or kind of job, the job doesn't make enough, the car isn't fancy enough, or they don't like if ui have to share an apartment with a room mate or parents to survive.....it always seems to be something. it is just as equally hard for famales nowdays as it is for men, because most women work or have these careers, and so when you don't have a career, and total indepence first ( before you meet/get the guy ) you can almost forget it ..unless you want to date a scumbag loser, druggie, sex offender, jail bird, those kinds of crap if you know what I mean...or someone who will absolutely do nothing for you at all except sleep in bed with you until the next time...I also think it's more harder these days is because the economy is so tough and the double inflation of things and the fact that we are all living off 60's and 70's wages that don';t line up with what it costs to afford just an apartment and a car altogether, so most people are automatically going into it with the wrong reasons..."are you going to be able to support me ahd rescue me and help me survive?"...any everyone is missing the boat about just being able to enjoy each other for ...just the sake of enjoying each other, their company, the fun activites , and the personality traits that make it click"....EVERYONE is MISSING THE BOAT and we are all frustrated and pretty much alone...unless you are one of the weathy as well as heathy ones that can more/less "BUY" all your friends and guys/gals/partners/spouses. I think this is the way it's going now days and the relationships just never get off the ground, everyone's on guard about getting hurt, or the relationships/marriages arte short lived.....and the internet also ruins a lot of relationships because it make for more suspicions and cheating to go on than never ever before.

you are right, if it wasn't for my saxophone, my stereo, my art, my mom, and my best girlfriend, I don't think I would be here with all the problems I have and the way this world economy, etc, etc, is going...it's seems to get tougher and tougher to live every year...the last 4 years for me as well as you has been equally as tough..and for everyone...sooo many people are sacrificing things they used to have (pleasures or needs) to survive because the prices are scamming us all out now...we all having to tighten our belt and have to be constantly watching over our own backs and shoulders at all times.

I think that the Internet has made it a lot easier for people with disabilities. While people might have previously ignored someone with a disability for whatever reason, nowadays you may have a chance to get to know someone much better than ever before thanks to being anonymous online. I’d say it has been beneficial to me.

I am looking for someone who can drive a car and can give me a lift to see my family.