Awfull day !!

Martin my partners dad (grandad to my poppets) Has as you may remember been having corneal grafts for some months as he was in remission from a rather aggressive form of spinal cancer. Bearing in mind origionally we thought he may never live to see his first grsndaughter! We had both sheila and peter over for what we were sure was his last. The pics were awfull and not because it was a crappy day but because he looked so hollowed out and skinny. Following that he started Chemo which knocked that damn cancer into outer space WOOHOO. They had told us oh it,s a waiting game and we cant stop it. Well he put on weight got back out in his tool shed and apart from having his eye sown shut to protect the graft everything was fabulous. Then suddenly 2 weeks ago his legs became sore again. Codiene, no good! Tramadol, No good! The macmillan nursetook one look and sent him straight in on time for Mrs Beasly the oncology ladys ward rounds so thy can get an MRI. All it,s really doing is conforming what she told us. Cancer is back. Im sat here at 3.55 trying to figure out how im going to tell lauren my oldest or how im going to support martin through it. So please peeples Pray for Grandad cos im really scared for him. To go down in just 2 weeks is awfull!!!

Thanks for listening. Iv had a damn good waterworks display writing this and feel better.

Cat

Praying and sending warm feelings with hugs xxxx

im sorry to read this cat.....hugs to you and all your family


suzan xxx

Prayers and healing thoughts for you and your family Cat I am so sorry,this disease seems to touch everyone.I am sending you some karma.

big hug Cat to you and all members here.. who's loved ones they have lost or are ill xx<br><br>Post edited by: ducky, at: 2008/10/15 15:09

awwwww hunny ...... best wishs and big hugs to u and ur family

love emma xxx

Had the MRI today and it,s a sodding spinal compression tumour and it,s the old on they shrunk so malignant as hell. He starts radiotherapy in maidstone TOMMORROW! I bloody hate this it,s awfull. It seems to touch everyone somewhere in their life and it scares me as genetically this can pass between father and son. Im dragging martin off to get his PSI check first thing monday!! Just have to sit back and hope they can blast the thing to bits. I wish the prognosis was better but it aint. Shit:angry: . Sorry guys im ranting in the wrong thread. Night everyone love to all. XXXXXXX

You go ahead and rant where and when you like.

I KNOW what he's going through, and my heart goes out to him and his family xx

Ditto to that xxxx

Thanks posh Hunni it means a lot as i know you DO know. I stayed with the girls while Martin and Gamma took his slippers and jammys up as your bog standard assesment ward was freezing but he had been moved upstairs so that was better. When he realised Martin had come too he sat and cried. Poor martin was devastated!! His dads 74 and iv never seen that man shed a tear, He is so scared of this. Fucking cancer i HATE it!!! Oh well i,m going to keep you updated guys! Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts guys!

I know it's gonna be a difficult time for all of you Cat. but you gotta stay strong, you gotta be the glue that holds everything together, you gotta be aware that the radiotherapy might not work, and at his age i'm afraid there isn't really any alternative, unless he has funds to pay for chemo, which I doubt they'd do anyways.

74 eh? three score year and ten.. and then some, lucky guy! I won't make it, I know that. But then i haven't got any kids now to follow me on, there's only me and my longevitic mother (96)now.

You gotta be the shoulder that mark WILL cry on, don't let him bottle up his feelings, talk together with the girls, let everyone talk out their feelings.

he'll love you the more for being his crutch.

And remember that we're here, if you should ever need us.

&gt;hugs&lt; xxx

Thanks for the advice posh. Believe it or not it helps to talk to someone with some idea how to deal with all of it. He is being impossobly bad tempered but im letting him be like it as i think it,s his way of dealing you know? I dont know how he feels personally but he,s lucky he has still got his dad at this age i think. Im not trying to belittle his pain but it,s not like he,s 12 and his dads 50 or something if you catch my drift. At least him and his father got to see his 40th together. Im not sure how id cope in your shoes but i know id feel ripped off for time thats for sure! He,s going to crack and cry at some point, everyone does and im there when he does. It,s all i can do. I think im finding myself on the outside pulling everyone together in a group here? I love my father in law very much and it gives me such a deep sense of grief but i cant show it as everyone needs me to do what im doing. Martins sister and he dont see eye to eye! But they need to pull together for gamma as she wont cope without them! Oh lord what a mess posh. Thanks for all your advice im sure this is hardly your favourite subject and im sorry if iv opened any old wounds. XXX