Badly written complaints to the council

Badly written complaints to the council :

1) My bush is really overgrown round
the front, and my back passage has fungus growing in
it.

2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole
house, and I just can't take it anymore.

3) It is the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

4) I want some
repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.

5)
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very
badly when he put
his foot in the hole in his back passage

..6) And their 18-year-old son
is continually banging his balls against my fence

..7) I wish to report
that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad
wind the other night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked;
where do I stand?

9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming
away from the wall.

10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden
path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and
now she is
pregnant.

11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen.

12) 50%
of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster,
and 50% are plain
filthy.

13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new
drawers.

14) The
toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children
until it is
cleared.

15) Will you please send a man to look at my water? It
is a funny
colour & not fit to drink.

16) I want to complain about the farmer across the
road. Every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up, and
its now getting
too much for me.

17) The man next door has a large erection in the back
garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

18) Our kitchen floor is damp.
We have two children and would like a third, so
please send someone
round to do something about it.

19) I am a single woman living in a
downstairs flat and would you please do something
about the noise made by the
man on top of me every night.

20) Please send a man with the right tool
to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

Magic Karl xxxx:laugh: