life isnt fair

sometimes life isnt fair....but life is what you as a person makes of it all.... if you sit and wallow in a hole then you are goin to feel let down by things..... if u get up and do things to take you out of that hole... that will help

Welcome back!! I'm so glad you have decided to come back and give us another try. And thank you for writing such a positive post. Look forward to reading some more of your posts!!!

leyoniy wrote: I'm thinking of not replying this thread since you said that you are about to leave and won't ever come back. But I kind of hope that you did come back and read all the replies here. So I guess I should just write my thoughts about it

Just like Georgette said you've just articulated what many of us have felt from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that. I've felt it every now and then, wishing that I have a better life, wishing that life isn't this "sucks", etc.

I remember why I first sign up on this site, it was years ago and it was because at that time I fell desperately lonely, I need some friends but then I didn't felt that I belong here as well, just like how you feel. So I left it and never logged in for years. Until now.

Why? Because I still feel lonely but not as desperate as I used to feel back then. I feel a lot better and I have a positive thinking that I might fit in here, if I just try it again and communicate.

So here I am and your thread is the first thread I read. So I suppose I would like to share with you things that I have learned that might not change your situation but it might change your thinking and believe me, sometimes, that's all you need to feel a bit better about life

First of all here's a quote that help me to accept things, it is from M. Scott Peck from his book "The Road Less Traveled"

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Yes that's it - Life is Difficult and we have to really understand this and accept it. Most of the time we have this conception of how life should be. Life should've been easy and that's why we are fixated on how unfair life is. But the truth is, Life is hard, it is difficult and that is why we should always remember, that way we could "moved on" since we've already know the fact about life.

Another book that has a very good point is a book from Mark Manson "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" - I know the title is a bit provocative but there's a lot of good stuffs there. My favorite one is on the 5th chapter - You Are Always Choosing. Here's the thing, we always think that we shouldn't be responsible for our disability, after all we didn't asked for it, right? It might also be someone else's fault (just like in my case) but the truth is, it doesn't matter. You still have to choose how to response to it.

On that book Mark gave an example - It's like finding someone's putting a baby in front of our house. We don't know who put that baby there, we definitely don't feel responsible for it. But the fact that the baby was there made us have to do something about it.

Are we going to the police and report it? Are we just going to leave it there? or are we going to put it on the dumpster? (*ouch that is a cruel response, but still a response though)

So no matter what, whether it's our fault or not, this life we have been given, we are responsible for it and whatever you think, you will always have choice to response to it. You could do nothing about it because you don't want to (that's still a response) or you could take the responsibility and make the best out of it.

One last thing that I would like to say is, we are not here to pursue happiness. That is what we think we should do, that's why we always feel miserable. The fact is, we are here to learn, we are here to feel things. So don't burden yourself.. When we can accept our life for what it is and take every situation as an opportunity to learn, you would find yourself already having a better life than you used to have