I am paralysed too and have only limited sensation below my chest. I can only tell you what helps me.I find that relaxing and getting in the right frame of mind are so important.
Physical stimuli help me. Particularly erogenous areas for me are my bum cheeks and hole, my testicles and my penis, especially my glans. Keeping my foreskin rolled back keeps me erect or nearly so for part of the day. If I need help to harden my erection I squeeze the base of my penis gently to find the locations of the veins draining blood out of it. By restricting the outflow my penis becomes more engorged with blood and hardens.I stimulate by bum as an early stage of getting an erection and in masturbation.
I get considerable stimulation from visual sources. The Internet gives a wide choice. I find that to get the best effect I have to use my imagination - what is the model likely to be feeling? What might be going through her mind?
My underwear has a big effect in stimulating me. When choosing knickers the thoughts going through my mind are arousal, appearance and protection of my outer clothes.
I have tried several kinds of men's underwear without being fully satisfied: gusset not big enough to cover my penis and my anus; front exit awkward to get out to urinate; waistbands deteriorating quickly. I like to keep my penis pointing upwards with my foreskin lodged under the base of my glans: some kinds of men's underwear, such as those where the front exit is an inverted Y shape, seem to be suited for men who keep their penises pointing downwards. I do not find that good for arousal.
For many years now, I have been wearing unisex knickers, similar to women's maxi briefs but without gusset (Abena Abri Fix large ref:9251 or Allanda iD Expert Ultra Large . They can be washed many times and last more than three months. The last pack of 25 cost about £6. They can be pulled up to take a full erection, when the sides are about 10 inches or rolled down to less than 2 inches. So my penis points upwards with my glans and bum hole rubbing against my pad, giving a very exciting feeling; the pad soaks up anything coming out.
Their stretchiness makes them suitable for urinating by the 'over the top' or the sitting down position. They are made of lightweight lycra netting, and having no gusset, are intended to hold a pad. I wear an Abri San Premium 5 pad, big enough to extend from an inch or so below my navel to the top of my bum crevice; capacity 1,200 ml; cost about £12 for 36.
