Old people texting codes

DIEPUB - Im fed up of people dieing around me, can you come and push me to the pub

STIFFCOCK.............when you get one,use it

KNEETITS..............they sag a bit these days

STRANGEROOM...........I seem to have forgot why I came in here

TWOPENCE..............Well that was good enough in my day,so its enough for my grandchildrens birthday present.

wp4u - (wearing purfume 4 u) wearing eau du piss 4 u
voo - viagra on order!:woohoo:
bnb - (buying new bed) Coffin has been ordered! :ohmy: :lol:

KNICKERPONG.......... Clean underwear needed

BATTYBINT ............ Female memory loss

ONANDONANDONANDON .......Old soldier talking about his war days

SPRAYSPEAK............... Tends to spit when talking

SUCHU - Speak up can't hear you!
PTOSL - Put tena-lady on shopping list
PMSL - Piss myself laughing (literally!)

OLDEXPOSURE......Forget to do his flies up

POTTYMOUTH.......He/She swears at everyone