Speak To You Soon

This is a personal topic but I'll do my best to not make you guys uncomfortable whoever is reading this. For the past year I been feeling so lost that I couldn't feel my own self. It got worst around April and March of this year. But three weeks ago it was my breaking point and it was the hardest time of my life.

I'm going through depression...breathing, eating and sleeping...what does it even mean. Why am I so desperate for a man to love me? (Well of course I hate myself), why is my mom that suffers from mental illness see me as this disabled person instead of a human being that has wonderful talents (well maybe her mind isn't clear which it is frustrating because I WANT A MOM) ...why am i sad when my father passed away when he decided to not be part of my life...he never came to visit me because he's too busy being with other women and rather take care of his own son which that is my half brother. (Because I'm just too much to take care of because I'm physically disabled...and he rather have a son I bet).

I'm in pain and planning to see a therapist . So I decided to take a break from this website and not sure when I'll come back. Anyways I decided to talk about this because I know someone that is reading this suffers from depression as well.

I'll stay strong and hopefully I can understand my wounds for once.

Talk to you soon.

ms bubblegum knowing you have depression and suffering "alone" with it is one thing but letting people into your private life and letting them know you have depression takes alot of guts and currage .... and i have alot of respect and love for you, and the way your mom covers u up in bubblewrap (so to speak) is her way of coping with things ive been through it with my dad and he still does it sometimes

I hope one day soon you no longer hate yourself, I hope you learn to love the talented and beautiful young lady that you are. I don't comment on your poems but I do enjoy reading them .

If you don't feel you have love and respect at home, maybe that's why you want a man to love you so much, but as I said in a previous post, that love and respect had to start with you first,if you see a therapist I wish you all the best.

Take care of yourself, I'm sure we'll all be here when you come back online

Xx

Thank you so much and I appreciate the couragement you give me. Your comment inspire me to take care of myself again. I'll be back soon and I'll definitely write some more poems. Thank you so much and have a wonderful summer.

I'm so sad to see you go, you should know you have love and friends on this site. Your poems have made my day better when I read them. I have to admit I have the same problem with my Parents, my Mother has a rich boyfriend has no time for my sister or myself, we only see her on our Birthdays and Christmas and communicate via email and texts!! She only lives 1/2 an hour from us as well! Her boyfriend is her life, sadly my Father passed away 12 months ago and we had fallen out and hadn't been talking for some years before, his girlfriend had tried to get us talking but he refused to apologise for hurting me. It still hurts that he passed away before we had sorted our problems out. I still love him because he was my Dad and I have lovely memories of us that I can look back on. I'm here if you want to talk just Private message me. I hope you come back soon, we will miss you. BUBBADOG14. (Site Moderator).

I'll come back soon, I just need a break. And I'm sorry about your lost . Thank you for sharing your story because I know I'm not alone.

Have a wonderful summer and I'll be back sharing more poems.