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TOPIC: taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners

taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 4 years 7 months ago #55881

Some very cogent comments here. Going down the sex worker route is fine as long as your expectations are low enough to prevent disappointment and your overall confidence is high enough to allow excitement to overcome apprehension. You will be making a deal with a stranger some of whom are not particularly ethical or caring or even good at sex!
The upside is that the best are good at all three. I have never made use of the professional girl but have known a few as friends and once had a sex surrogate for a partner. She was superb at her job it was reported to me and our own sex life made it easy for me to believe. In case anyone is interested, no I wasn't jealous finding it easy to separate her job from our love for each other.
Mutual exploration of all the possibilities inherent to a relationship is the safer option, at least initially. I have had a great deal of experience in advising the sexually and emotionally isolated in the past the general advice is to socialise and try not come across as needy.
I have supported and hosted lunches run by The Outsiders Club (in the past) and recommend that you at least take a look at them online. Stateside there is possibly an equivalent.
Good luck in your endeavour!
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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 4 years 7 months ago #55886

BUBBADOG14 wrote:

Sandie wrote: Since I lost my husband I have always depended on my eldest son or my grandson to escort me to any event of my choice, recently both were unavailable so I hired an escort mainly to get me there and back home again as I dont drive, they sent this guy round, well dressed about 40 and very good looking, when he asked me at the end of the night if I required extras I must admit I was tempted but then in the cold light of day I think I would have regretted it. :(


In a way it's lucky you didn't because he would have charged you for it and that sort of thing could have been expensive!! I'm sure you would prefer to give yourself to someone who has the same feelings for you rather than an escort who would treat you like a piece of meat not a human being honey.


I thought to myself if I can't pull a bloke these days I will do without, I have a few male friends and enjoy going out to lunch etc, my husband would be a hard act to follow anyway, I shall sit back and see what develops :lol:

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 4 years 7 months ago #55911

Sandie wrote:

BUBBADOG14 wrote:

Sandie wrote: Since I lost my husband I have always depended on my eldest son or my grandson to escort me to any event of my choice, recently both were unavailable so I hired an escort mainly to get me there and back home again as I dont drive, they sent this guy round, well dressed about 40 and very good looking, when he asked me at the end of the night if I required extras I must admit I was tempted but then in the cold light of day I think I would have regretted it. :(


In a way it's lucky you didn't because he would have charged you for it and that sort of thing could have been expensive!! I'm sure you would prefer to give yourself to someone who has the same feelings for you rather than an escort who would treat you like a piece of meat not a human being honey.



I thought to myself if I can't pull a bloke these days I will do without, I have a few male friends and enjoy going out to lunch etc, my husband would be a hard act to follow anyway, I shall sit back and see what develops :lol:


You are a lovely woman Sandie and a good friend I think any man who you meet is going to be a very lucky man but I'm sure he has a hard job living up to the standards your husband left.
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Last edit: by BUBBADOG14.

taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 2 years 11 months ago #62330

why is it so bad to just want a cudddle & some enjoyment..friendships & more often start with a cuddle & a kiss..

seems cuddler therapist is harder to find in my area than i thought..

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 2 years 11 months ago #62338

It isn't bad to want the things you ask about, that's a given. Unfortunately the residue of religious so-called morality has a strong influence over the minds of many individuals and true compassion and empathy are rare attributes in the majority. All that is a long-winded way of saying people take a negative view of the sexual/emotional needs of others.
Take steps to find what you need it may be with a lover, a friend or you may have to pay, this is the only life you have if it hurts no-one take what you can and give what you have. Take a look at the website TLC Trust.

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 2 years 11 months ago #62352

Now that is so exciting....

TLCtrust is an amazing concept....I really like the way they are embracing the conceptthat the disabled being is a sexual being the same as any other person and certainly deserve the experience that most take for granted.

I embrace this totally. If I could I would set something up like this in my own country....in order to make those that have disabilities feel comfortable finding what they need...
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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 2 years 11 months ago #62353

yes you are quite right...sometimes it is the simple intimacy that we crave rather than the full sexual journey....

only the other night I was thinking of how wonderful it would be simply have and hold...I miss this so much..and it is often not a sexual sensation. a kiss and a hug wewould fire me up incredibly...
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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 2 years 11 months ago #62427

Rhythmsand wrote: yes you are quite right...sometimes it is the simple intimacy that we crave rather than the full sexual journey....

only the other night I was thinking of how wonderful it would be simply have and hold...I miss this so much..and it is often not a sexual sensation. a kiss and a hug wewould fire me up incredibly...


I totally agree, it's the closeness you miss. Most men I have gone out to dinner with ended the evening by trying to grope me, I just throw them out.It must be true, "No such thing as a free dinner" I have started paying for my own.

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 1 year 11 months ago #65697

I think in this day and age the use of sex workers by disabled people needs some consideration. As a disabled person with the same urges and desires as anyone else, yet the continued discriminatory judgements of others means that starting a relationship can be impossible. There should be no shame in it, go and get laid! Enjoy it!

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 1 year 11 months ago #65729

This should NOT be a Taboo topic EVERYONE has needs it is unique how we have them and who you want to be with your life bugger everyone else

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 1 year 11 months ago #65732

Get while you can! There's a breadth of possible sexual expression 'An it hurt none do what thou will'.

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taboo topic? Sex for disabled people and partners 1 year 10 months ago #65744

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Sex is good for your health and mind. Who cares what people think?

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