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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62372

Hi

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We were together over 4 years. He has Cerebral Palsy and learning difficulties. He didn't treat me right sometimes and i felt like i was making most of the effort in the relationship and i felt like i was looking after him.
I do miss him but i was tired of the relationship. He came round to my flat recently. We ended up kissing because i was a bit weak but after I said i wanted to be just friends and he seemed ok with that, but he has been messaging me a lot on facebook apologising for losing his temper in the relationship and saying he can't move on. I haven't replied to his messages. I was thinking of blocking him but is that mean? I keep thinking about our relationship and have been feeling a bit down about it but i will be getting counselling about the relationship.

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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62401

Its a bit awkward. Probably his learning difficulties mean he has trouble with boundaries.
Blocking is not mean, sometimes you has to use "tough love" to get a message through.
Good luck with the counselling.

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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62411

Mean people only get meaner the longer a relationships lasts. Maybe he should have counselling to understand why he feels the need to be mean to you. What is the motive. Is he bolstering his ego by bringing you down. If he is you need him like a hole in the head!
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62433

Of course it is not mean to block someone if they iritate you. If they keep iritating you then you will feel worse as a person.

Often we need the separation to be clear and cut for us to grow further and understand ourselves.

The thing to remember is that he is trying to make it up to you and telling you he is wrong and was wrong. This is admirable in a person and you can not blame him for trying....in fact you may feel worse if he were not trying to resurect the lover and passion you shared for four years.

Having said that you need to be strong in your mind why you do not wish the relationship. Perhaps it just was not working for you....just because...and this is alright.....but he may need to be aware that it was not just because he was angry that once time but rather it was something that was building to a point of no return for you.

Often we can not put a finger on what it is that makes us break up and move on...life love and romance is trial and error....
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62439

You've had some good replies, I had a boyfriend who was mean and emotionally a bully. He was my last relationship before my husband. I blocked him on Facebook and also telephone numbers. If he is not good for you emotionally and makes your health worse then he needs removing from your life. As they say there are other fish in the sea, also when you find your soulmate you will know I promise you that! :)
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62468

Thank you for your replies. I went to counselling. It helped me a bit. I am better on my own. I have realised i let my ex boyfriend get away with not treating me right. I miss him but i want someone who treats me right.
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62469

CuteSarah wrote: Thank you for your replies. I went to counselling. It helped me a bit. I am better on my own. I have realised i let my ex boyfriend get away with not treating me right. I miss him but i want someone who treats me right.


You deserve better, dump him.
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62479

Great!

despite feeling very alone sometimes I know that being without my partner is the best thing for me....

Within the relationship I was feeling very hurt constantly. She still makes me feel hurt but now I have little to do with her so I am a great person. Truly my own unique individual. I have taken my sons on amazing adventures....things I would not have been able to do with her because she felt I could not.....

We only learn we are not being who we need to be by or in the passage of time.....while we miss the other personwe need to feel just right and as if everything we do is going to make us feel great and not resentful.....

There was a lady who wanted to get married but she said things that made me understand or feel awful even though she said she loved me...like at one point she said..'nobody wants you' while this is probably true..I do not feel comfortable with someone pushing that into my throat...

So feel comfortable and feel full...half full in any relationship is not worth the effort...it is a heart thing and when that heart makes music together you know you are there...!!!
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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62500

I know just how you feel. I was in an emotional relationship for years. Very inciduous, very controlling. It took being disabled to open my eyes and extricate myself from the poison. I rediscovered the essence of me and life became more colourful, full of sights, scents and sounds. When disability stopped me short I was in a very dark place and it took this to galvanise myself into action. I fought back and discovered that I was much stronger than I had realised. I am now taking control of my destiny, my being, my mind, my life in the time I have left. My only regret is that I did not do it years ago! The person concerned still cannot accept that I don't need him, don't want him and acctually don't even like him. Finding another partner is no longer important. I am learning to live and love myself, warts and all! It is so liberating. Sometimes frightening but also exciting. I had forgotten who I was..

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Break up of relationship 4 years 3 months ago #62501

This is so wonderful...we do find great strength within when we push the boundaries....while it is nice to be loved and share our lives it is crucial to extend ourselves and discover our own passion that is essentially us...from there we can gain and gather our own potential
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