Agnostic/Atheist

me too

Agnostic, atheist, antitheist; three words often wrongly apprehended as interchangeable.
To answer the question posed in the original post: I define myself as an agnostic atheist in that I do not believe in a god or gods without claiming to KNOW such entities don't exist. I see no objective proof for any god, only claims and statements. The Abrahamic God of several holy books I find both repellent and silly which has led me closer to the antitheist position over the course of time. Indifference to the existence (or not) of the God of the Wholly Babble has developed into a conviction that faith is on balance a force for evil and a denial of the morality built up through generations of human interaction.
This subject is complicated and before this post becomes an essay I suggest it would be better if the atheist YouTube websites be consulted. Here are a couple:
The Atheist Experience. Essence of Thought. Others to check, AronRa, Steve Shives and debates with Christopher Hitchens or Richard Dawkins.

I think over the years I've come to believe in God and if not for that belief my life would be unbearable. I guess I've had so much disappointment in relationships that I need to hang on to something bigger than other humans????

It seems you have faith in one of the available versions of the Abrahamic God or is that my false assumption? You may after all believe in one of the many gods that have been postulated and believed in.
If your belief appears to sustain you, good, hold to it until something better comes along!

I am an agnostic.
My journey as a christian was long and deep and sad. For more than two thirds of my life I'd been a devoted christian and more than 5 years I had dedicated myself completely to researching the bible along with many related references, which I don't feel proud of considering the end results. Fortunately or unfortunately I had tried to dig completely to the bottom of it for so long, I could get out of there. I found there were too many flaws to swallow especially in the origins of the bibles. Finding out the facts one by one destroyed me so badly since I had been enjoying walking with Jesus day by day for so long, I'd rather want to die at that time. Yeah, it took some times to recover. I don't believe in the bible anymore. Having had some supernatural experiences during being devoted, I'm not sure whether it has psychological explanations or not. Still I open to possibility of existing god though.

So many are led away from the bible by reading it throughout. The irony is that believers suppose that if you only read it you will come to god. My reading of the book leaves me certain that god is at the least amoral.