Household Tips

Always keep several Get Well cards on the mantelpiece ....
So if unexpectedguests arrive,
They will think you've been sick
And unable to clean.
:laugh: :ohmy:

thats a smart one karl!! I like it................

Those extra large slippers that are advertised in the newspapers...The ones where you can put both feet in the same slipper to keep warm whist sitting....

Buy Two and keep them both by the fireplace or somewhere visible....If a burglar breaks in whilst your out he/she will think...bloody heck Im not staying here with the size of this bloke

Keep a bucket of Horse Manure in the Kitchen......It keeps the flys out of the lounge

Leave lots of snotty rolled up tissue papers on settee and floor and talk quite nasally and watch your visitors fly back out of the front door! I did that once to some unwanted visitors!

Leave the full wee bottle on the coffee table :evil: