Household Tips

Always leave food over the floor so that yoy will have something to eat if you fall over...and cant get up

This one is abit naughty so people with a sensitive disposition look away now!!
Leave a stool sample on the table in a position where it can't be missed and as your visitors enter you say 'oh dear I forgot to send this to the doctor this morning I've had the worst upset stomach!! And watch them make there excuses and leave your house quick march!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :laugh:

Sign for the front door......Pagans Lives Here Who Sacifice Virgins .....Keeps the JW and double glazing salesmen away

If you spill wine etc on your carpet...Do NOT wipe with solution...before this fold a terry towel four times and place over stain..remove your shoe and hit the towel repeatedly....The vibrations will absorb 70 to 80 pc of the staining liquid into the towel.....Leave a clean towel on the stain and put some books etc on it to weight it down..Overnight majority of stain will go into towel....Believe me it works,if you get it whilst still wet