What happened next

suddenly there was the sound of several trumpets,enter Will the Wonderful on his trusty steed, in one hand he held the good book in the other

was a very long list of things he had to do that day. Number one was to visit a pharmacy and get a new bottle of 'wonderfulness' elixir. He had run out the day before and already the potion's absence was begining to show. So far he had put his T-shirt on inside out, forgotten his cheese sandwiches and crashed his 'trusty steed' into a lamp post. His steed was a dark blue mobility scooter with a little wire shopping basket stuck on the front. "Sorry to barge in like this!", he said, obviously embarrassed, "I took a wrong turn at the Dog and Duck !" Every being there, human or otherwise just stared at him. "I was looking for Boots,...the chemist...got a prescription...". All coninued to stare at him. Will squirmed. "Well, I can see you're all in the middle of something so I'll leave you in peace...". Just then Will turned his head and noticed the two ill-matched creatures that Bertha had recently addressed. "Hello" said Will, "Good costumes! Did you make them yourselves?". No reply. "Ah, right, well, I'd best be going..". At that moment Will seemed to notice the book in his hand for the first time. It was a good book, Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne, but he had no idea why he had brought it with him. He was in deperate need of that elixir. Will dropped the book into his scooter's shopping basket. "Good luck with...whatever it is you're doing! Bye". With that he turned his steed around and trundled off at full speed - 8mph. In the distance the sound of several trumpets could be heard. It was the local Salvation Army band tuning up for a rousing rendition of 'Rock of Ages'. As the strange figure receded slowly, Melissa was the first to speak. "Do you think he could have helped us in some way?". Bertha shrugged. "Maybe, if wearing your T-shirt inside out is an asset...". Cedric grabbed Bertha's arm, "Look!" he said. The two creatures, Red and Black were advancing towards them...

Ok said Bertha you take the little fella I'll take the big one, reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small flute and started to play a haunting melody from

William de Smythe (Will Smith too mundane he thought for a fine upstanding figure like me)turned around his t shirt, inhaled a great gasp, puffed out his chest and with a swagger strode over to little man.Grasping the book and a brooly in hand he deferentially he produced a swash buckling bow.Then looked at the foe.Took a studied stance and eschewed: "Do you come here often?" So saying he tossed the brolly foe ward.Then dastardly swiped his book over the head, not waitting for an answer. The foe exclaimed "egads" while his chains and teeth ratttled: "Fie that was a bit below the belt. Not very British. I demand the Queensbury rules." A crack of thunder and lightening rent the sky. Thhe gods of the firmament were not pleased. Darkness descended. In the deepening gloom the foe stared att where the book and brolly had fallen.Eyes wide, fear etching his face,Metomorphing ectoplasm was arising! Dastard William de Smythe turned on his heel and strutted away. To no one in particular he uttered, Essex is busy tonight and proceeded to leap onto his steed. Ouch! Fie, fie, fiddlesticks my batteries are low.Meanwhile Cedric's fine face folowed by his body entered the murky glade.He grimaced and smirked, gave Will a cursory nod and proceeded to introduce his companions.Two buxom damsels,Long golden hair, sylph like nymphs simpered coquetishly. Will lifted his head. Steed forgottten. he feastted his eyes on their damsel forms and noted with some consternation a sign adorning their girdled waists and perused-Ye olde Englishe Eye Candy......

Will tried to gather his thoughts. He didn't even remember turning his steed around to return to the scene. He wasn't sure if what he had just experienced was real or if he had suffered a 'brainstorm'.
Some kind of delusional 'state' was highly likely, considering his desperate need for a draft "wonderfulness" elixir...Things around him were going in and out of focus...the two attractive damsels seemed very real, but everything else...Had he really tried to engage someone in pseudo-sword play? He'd always fantasised about being a swash buckler, one of his favourite stage plays was the tale of Cyrano de Bergerac, he could identify with the main character - because, he too had an 'interesting' nose! But no! None of it could have been real! Funny, yes, he was smiling through his confusion even now! He caught site of the two damsels who were still there, looking a little different now, but still there. Will tried to recall the 'fight' he had just had, his stance, the parry and thrust of the brolly, the deft implimentation of 'reading' material...Will shook his head. How could he have done all that - with only one leg? "Excuse me", said a voice. Will looked up. It was Cedric. "Are you alright old chap? You look a bit dazed..." Will blinked. "Yes, I think so, errm, what just happened?".
Cedric draw a breath through his teeth. "Well, you did a U-turn , came charging back here shouting 'Have at yea varlet!', and threw your copy of Winnie the Pooh at our friend in black over there." Will thought for a moment then asked, "Did I hurt him?" Cedric replied with a sense urgency in his voice, "No, you missed him, but he picked up the book and now appears to be reading it".
Will blinked again, "oh.." he said, then added, "The two ladies over there...are they real?". Cedric nodded, "Oh yes, they're real enough."

The red demon turned his black-clad cohort and smote Winnie the Pooh from his hands. He pointed towards the humans. The two advanced once again...

Right said Bertha(they didn't call her battling Bertha for nothing) she reached deep into her bag, she had week old egg sandwiches and bakewell tart which she chucked to the little fella who devoured it with relish(Mango Chutney) suddenly he rose up in the air and dropped dead, what killed him Will asked, I got them from Britsh Rail she replied, oh dear another one bites the dust. Left to fight his own corner the Demon did not seem

keen to persue whatever it's original pupose had been. There was a blinding flash and it was gone. "I really must be going now" said Will to no one in particular. Cedric handed him his copy of Winnie the Pooh which he had retrieved from where it had fallen. Will dropped the book into his shopping basket and was away. In an unfeasably short amount of time he travelled a remarkable distance and was soon beyond sight or hearing - and any influence that might seek to make it otherwise..."Strange bloke" said Bertha, then took out her flute and began to play again. Suddenly...

Bertha stopped playing. There was silence. You know how sometimes, when it's really quiet, you can almost hear your own pulse in your ears? Well, it was like that. Well, I assume most people have experienced the "pulse" thing in their ears, when it's very quiet. If not, I'll tell you what it sounds like. It goes, "Bump bump, bump bump...", quite slowly, unless you've just been running or something, any strenuous physical activity, then the bumps will probably be faster. But It wasn't like that, it was silent. In a way, I wish I hadn't mentioned the pulse in the ears thing, it just detracts from the total silence I'm trying to describe. Ok, ignore anything you just read about bumping. There was no bumping, just total silence. If you can't imagine the concept of total silence, because I put the idea of "bumping" into your head, I'm sorry. Have we all got this now? There was silence. No bumping remember? Total, complete, bump-free silence. (I hope that putting "bump-free" into that last bit didn't start off down the "pulse in the ears" train of thought, because we don't need that!) Bertha began to play again. Suddenly...

last Summer, God noticed the egg-plant he'd been nurturing had begun to wilt, 'Damn, God snarled (it was his day off from being loving)sodding vine weevil. Why in hell's name did I create them in the first place?' Then his attention wandered, so much on his mind, back to the drama of Bertha and

her flute playing. The strange, haunting melody seemed to go on forever. Time almost stood still. From his vantage point at the center of EVERYTHING, God, was still annoyed with himself for creating the vine weevil. From New Orleans to Spain, they were just a pest, however you looked at it. God drummed his fingers on a cloud that he kept just for that purpose. He frowned at the scene before him. When were these mortals going to do something? He could easily intervene if he chose to of course, but that would be a bit Old Testament. He prefered to keep a low profile these days. He enjoyed moving in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. He was tempted to give the idiot Cedric a labotomy, but no, he'd just come up with an insect resistant egg plant instead. Bertha played on...

strange things began to happen people heard her strange medoly and began to gather round. Cedric still stood like a melon doing not a lot.Suddenly they started to dance, the melody was quite haunting, from a graveyard close by a long line of lost souls, their spirit lights glowing in the gathering dusk began

to tumble back into the abyss whence they had come. Olaf the last to tumble had a sign on his back, beloved of the humans NIMBY- hendid not understand it but it made him laugh. Humans were weird. With the dead you knew where you were. Bertha, meanwhile was haunting the glade with her melodious music. She could shoot from the her vast ample hips but could hold a good tune. They did not call her big bertha for nothing! Boy could she shoot. Meanwhile Cedric was still dallying with the damsels who were making more sense. Needless to say William de Smythe had departed - teleported on his steed to where we know not.To obtain his elixer or get his batteries charged we know not.. Peace had descended. Soothing sunlight dappled the glade. Serenity enshewed. Peace to all and tranquility. Succluent and soothing, suave even and then ...........