What happened next

Or were they?..............................

Bertha stopped playing her flute, sat down on the kerb, pulled a cornish pasty from her ample cleavage and began to munch. She shook her head slowly and pondered. She didn't think she was an unreasonable person, had dealt with a number situations like the one she found herself in now, but something wasn't right this time. What was she doing wrong? Bertha's eyes focused. She saw two pairs of legs in front of her. She looked up into the faces of Melissa and Cedric. "Can we have a bit?", asked Cedric, pointing at the pasty. Bertha looked down at the ground and raised the hand holding the pasty. Cedric turned to Melissa, "You first" he said with a grim smile. Melissa bit into the golden pastry...

'Wow' she said to Cedric 'not bad!' Bertha chipped in 'Greggs Cornish Pastie' she smiled at Cedric, 'must remember that' Melissa smiled she stepped away so Cedric and Bertha could talk.

the most amazing drivel as usual and gossip about absent friends a schadenfeude festival as

"Thomas the Rhymer" suddenly appeared on the scene, much as "Will" had done earlier. "What is the meaning of this?", asked Bertha. "I have nothing to declare but my genius!" said Tom, and left. Then,

the whole bunch of them started to question how these appearances and exits came about, was an invisible omnipresence interfering in the narrative of their lives? Were they all simply thoughts, things as Prentice Mulford suggested early in the twentieth century in his books Thoughts Are Things?
Suddenly Bertha's dad Gabriel blew his horn, the sky turned black and rain torrential and bloody fell form a lachrymose heaven. All we need now is a blood moon said

Mellisa, in quite a loud voice, not quite knowing where the thought had come from. "Is your hovercraft full of eels?", shouted Cedric, as Mellisa, by this time, was some distance away. Mellisa cupped her hand to her ear, "Pardon? What are you saying?". Cedric Shrugged and shouted back, "Never mind, let's just get out of this bloody rain!". Bertha meanwhile was

feeling more tan ever disorientated by the contemplation of the question of purpose, how to distinguish between the meaningless random and the purposive. She had removed a pasty from her mammary apparatus intent on munching and Cedric and Melissa appeared begging a share. The significance and effect on her purpose could only be guessed at in the second before that present time became the past and why was Melisa so very fragrant? Perhaps a name conferred sweetness how

Mellisa and Cedric stopped and thought. Life is becoming very random and we have lost the plot. Philosophy and long hard words are fine but where do we go from here! I know said Cedric We could ask Will where he gets his magic elixir and see if that increases our brain power and our abilities to link with the folk of the earth. They might have been scarey but at least we were thinking. Mellisa agreed. It was another boring bloody Sunday and she wanted to see some action, whatever it was. They decided to contact Will by .................

any means, but no, he was not available. He had covered a great distance on his mobility scooter, and was now sporting a kitchen foil skull cap, which made him impervious to all outside psychic influences. Cedric stiffened. "I'm hearing voices!" he said, "Many, different, voices, coming from that hole in the road! I think they're debating what their intentions and motivations are!". "What do you mean?" asked Mellisa. who had now wearily walked back to Cedric. "Well," said Cedric, licking his lips with a very uncertain look on his face, "I'm getting a feeling that there are several different factions down that hole, I don't understand it all, it could be their weakness, but it could be their strength...". Bertha's thigh-dominated frame joined the scene. "What are you going on about Cedders?" she asked, shaking her head slowly. Cedric looked down at the ground. He shuffled his feet like a small child. "I just thought..." he began to say. Bertha roared at him, "Thinking is not enough! We need to act!". She took out her flute and began to play again...

The living dead in the hole stopped talking as they heard the row from above ground. It was like children's nails on a chalk board to them and they covered their ears and fell to the floor. 'Bertha' Cedric grabbed her gerbil like cheeks 'I could kiss you' he said beaming a smile 'You played an awful tune and bide us sometime.' He took a deep breath 'Now I need to find my special cook book'.

Mellisa gave Cedric a quizical look. "You cook do you?" she asked. "You mean magic potions, that kind of thing?". Bertha chuckled without humour. "Cheese on toast, more like" she said. "No!" said Cedric, slightly miffed, "This book was written many years ago, by Fanny Craddock. She was a white witch you know. It has recipes for inervening in the afairs of the spirit world" he said. "Fanny was certainly a witch." observed Bertha, then added, "So you want this book do you?". Cedric nodded. "Where is it?" she asked. "I think it's in my desk drawer. The middle one". Bertha took out her adapted Argos Sat-Nav, made a few adjustments and pressed a button. A book appeared in her free hand...