Regardless of how any of this helps you have all had me in absolute stitches!!! I cant look at him without this lot springing to mind and making me laugh. Which, rest assured, is making him VERY worried/paranoid LOL. I dont think i need to do anything at the moment as he is so worried about what i MIGHT do he is suffering beautifully from a bad case of check everything i do/feed him/say/go to. Thanks guys for all the support it,s made the whole sorry mess bearable. HUGS XXXXXXXXX:kiss:
Heck...sounds like the seeds of doubt have been well and truely sewn, keep on making him feel paranoid and hopefully he will just walk out on you, just make sure the kids are well secure or they might go as well, and whilst the seeds are still fermenting, eventually they will 'pop'..have plan 2 ready;)
Lady M I'm, new on here n I hope I not upset anyone puttin my two peneth in, I know where u coming from, I left my abusive ex of 18yrs two yrs ago now, he was so nice to everyone else but totally different behind closed doors if u get my drift, it was always my fault, I was the screw up not him, but eventually I realised so long as he had control I would always be miserable, eventually u just snap and the strength to move on somehow apears just when u need it most.
It is so liberating when you finally stand ur ground and say enuf is enuf, and disabilities asside you are a strong woman and everyone no matter what deserves love, to be loved and to love someone who loves them warts and all without judgment and conditions.
I wasted 18yrs on a man who didn't love me, I was just a conveinient housekeeper and punch bag, the mother of his children and the girl his family persisted in saying wasn't good enuf for him. well they were right I was too damn good for him, and I told them exactly what their precious son was like when I left.
When I first left someone told me that something that became a phrase I now hold dear and I know to some extent it had an effect, maybe I was wishing it so strong that he would get his comeupance I dont know. but since I left taking only my daughter and clothing, leaving him with everything the buisness we set up, the 4 bedrm house, the vehicles, everything has gone wrong for him. the house is worth next to nothing with the credit crunch, the buisness is suffering and he cant seem to keep a girlfreind.
the phrase was
As you sew so shall ye reep only ten fold,
Any missdeed will not go unpunished.
looking for some advice here peeps, just got the diagnosis this monthish bout whats been wrong all these years,
never had my families support all this time, they never beleived anything was wrong.
anyway I did the right thig told them all bout the syndrome n advised them all to go get checked cause it hereditary and well a lot o my siblings are at starting families stage so though I was doing the right thing.
they still don't beleive me:(
even with the doctors letters n appointments, they just don't want to know, the doctors r gonna want them to go thru tests as well so eventually they r going to have accept they been wrong all these years.
Question is what do I do? keep banging my head off a brick wall or just deal with what I gotta do and move on, Dave hates it, every time I have to phone them with an update I end up depressed and in tears, he can't see why they can't even apologise for the way they treated me and be there for me now. I know he would never ask it of me but I know he thinks i should cut the ties, that they will need me before I need them, but how much is enough? how many times can I keep picking myself up just for them to knock me back down?
should I even try to be there for them, when they have never been there for me, even now?
just been told on top of the hypermobility, which they've pinned down to Elhers Danlos Syndrome 3 I also have Dysautonomia which explains me passing out all the time.
miserable n confused Kitty.xx
I am sorry Kitty I cant advice you ..I am not in your situation .I hope that some member will read your proplem and will be able to put you in touch with a group or maybe advice you.
the only thing I will say is dont break off ties with them completly because even tho you are upset with them you come across as wanting them in your life somewhere
love and hugs ducky xxxx
Thanks ducky, n u r right even though they haven't been there for me, they are family, n some part of me keeps hoping for a miracle. They may come round, eventually, I supose it is a lot to take in, I am still reeling myself trying to come to terms with what's happened.
I am not going to rush into a decision, I have enough on my plate to deal with so have put this on the back burner, and give them and me time to think.
if I were you I'd keep remembering birthdays and christmas cards to the family and stop wasting your energy on them, your recent news however bad needs your energy spent on worrying about your own needs and not the needs of others for a change, your worrying about others is not helping your condition and if they won't acknowledge your condition even if it has been made official, give up on them concentraite on your own needs and perhaps you will start to feel better considering yourself instead of other people, esspecially those that stress you out.
I know this sounds selfish but ill people do not need stress in their lives and this is clearly causing you stress, push them asside and consider yourself for a change and get well in a less stressful frame of mind.
I would agree with Posh..it's just sad when you have the best of intentions into someone..and they play life altering games with your heart and life..as someone said there are many fish in the sea..and you will find someone who'll treat you properly..just fiercely love and support your children and you'll be great..life is too short for negative relations with people..even if you love them..sometimes it's better to part if they hurt you..