Witty Ditty

Sitting by the river bank with dangling feet,
Old Reg Johnson didnt have a seat,
His bum was wet and his face was dry,
Old Reg Johnson began to cry,
The tears they flowed to the water below,
Old Reg Johnson had no where to go,
His house was repocessed by his local bank,
Old Reg Johnson knew who to thank,
Gordon Brown had lied through his teeth,
Old Reg Johnson called him a political THIEF.

xxxxxx :ohmy: :whistle:

I really do feel sorry for this poor old chap
Shall I give him a cuddle and sit upon his lap
He is'nt very happy cos he lost his home
Sitting there depressed and all alone
I will give him a meal and a cup of tea
I might offer him a bed he'll have to wait and see.

Old Reg Johnson is full of trust,
You might get him home full of lust,
Hes been known to make love all night long,
Old Reg Johnson has got a massive dong,
So when your laying naked in bed,
And Old Reg Johnson has been fed,
He may not ask or have to beg,
But what you are stroking is not his leg xxxxx :lol: :whistle: :side:

tonypark wrote:

Old Reg Johnson is full of trust,
You might get him home full of lust,
Hes been known to make love all night long,
Old Reg Johnson has got a massive dong,
So when your laying naked in bed,
And Old Reg Johnson has been fed,
He may not ask or have to beg,
But what you are stroking is not his leg xxxxx :lol: :whistle: :side:

Can you please keep it clean Mr Park( and spare my :blush: :blush: )

Dorrie wrote:

tonypark wrote:

Old Reg Johnson is full of trust,
You might get him home full of lust,
Hes been known to make love all night long,
Old Reg Johnson has got a massive dong,
So when your laying naked in bed,
And Old Reg Johnson has been fed,
He may not ask or have to beg,
But what you are stroking is not his leg xxxxx :lol: :whistle: :side:

Can you please keep it clean Mr Park( and spare my :blush: :blush: )

But it needs to rhyme and what else goes with...long....and......beg ???? xxxx :ohmy: :whistle:

As I was walking by St. Pauls,
A lady grabbed me by the....shoulder,
The lady said youve got some pluck,
Come inside and have a.....cuppa,
It may cost a shilling it may cost a bob,
It all depends on the size of your...cup xxxx :whistle: :side: :silly:

I think I am going slowly mad
Everything I arrange goes bad
Is it me that makes a mess
Or do people just do less
Why cant something go to plan
The shit always hits the fan.:blink: :blink: :whistle:

Uncle Bob came to stay,
How long hed be he couldnt say,
All he knew was time stood still,
The shock he had quite made him ill,
Even now he could not believe,
That young man laying on Aunty Eve ..... xxxxx :whistle:

There was a young lady from Fife
Who ate her peas off a knife
It's bad manners you know
Her mother told her so
No one wants you for a wife:(

Charley Deacon had a wife who didnt have a care,
She spent her days in the mirror brushing her long hair,
Go get a job Charley said and help to pay the bills,
If I do youll look elswhere and not get all my thrills,
For Im sexy just for my man and for his sexual lust,
If I go and get a job your manhood it will rust xxxx

Call yourself a neighbour you didnt cut my grass,
You didnt move the snow away and I fell on my arse,
Your tree leaves fall in Autumn over my long drive,
The bees stung me in Springtime coming from your hive,
Now tell me once more what you do hiding in the fog,
Its no good standing barking ....Oh your just a dog...xxxxx

She strolled through the field in the nude
The farmer though this very rude
He son was in fact all a glow
He's only young would,nt you know
I did try to tell her it was,nt wise
Those ears of corn find places to hide:blink: