Joke of the Day

was doing my girlfriend from behind last night when I slipped a chocolate egg up her bum ...

Kinder Surprised her !!!

A Guy phones 999 and tells the ambulance services that he thinks his wife is dead....Operator asks....How do you know???
To which he replies..the sex is the same but the washing and ironing is building up :laugh:

Ive just broken the world record for holding your breath underwater,an incredible 8mins 42 seconds.
It all started when a girl in the swimming pool shouted ...Thats him over there Daddy ... xxxx :laugh:

I got thrown out of McDonalds this morning.The girl serving me was a stunner and said she could make me Large for 30 pence.
I told her she already had and could finish me off for a £1 xxxx :laugh:

Spent an hour at the wifes grave this morning....Bless her,she thinks Im digging a pond xxxx :laugh:

Taffy, Jock and Paddy are chatting. Taffy says: "Women are so stupid. My wife has just bought a car and she can't even drive!" Jock says: "That's nothing. My wife's on a diet and she's not even fat" Paddy says: "That's fuck all. My wife's taken 30 condoms to magaluf and she hasn't even got a cock" !!!