Joke of the day

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman driving through the desert. They are driving along at quite a rate when the fan belt snaps. \"Fanbelt's gone lads, we'll have to abandon the jeep.\" says the Scotsman turns to the others and goes, \"Right on guys take one thing that will be of use.\" The englishman opens up the bonnet and rips out the radiator. The scotsman turns around and says, \"What you gonna do with that?\" \"It's still got a bit of water in it, I can use it as a canteen.\" Says the Englishman \"Good thinkin,\" says the Scotsman removing the hood. \"What use is that?\" says the Englishman. \"You know I burn easily, It'll keep the sun off.\" \"Good point.\" The two turn round to ask the Irishman what he's taking. They are both shocked to find the Irishman breaking his back trying to tear the passenger's door off. \"Paddy? What the hell you gonna do with that?\" they ask. \"Well, when I get too hot I can wind the window down.\"

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman driving through the desert. They are driving along at quite a rate when the fan belt snaps. \"Fanbelt's gone lads, we'll have to abandon the jeep.\" says the Scotsman turns to the others and goes, \"Right on guys take one thing that will be of use.\" The englishman opens up the bonnet and rips out the radiator. The scotsman turns around and says, \"What you gonna do with that?\" \"It's still got a bit of water in it, I can use it as a canteen.\" Says the Englishman \"Good thinkin,\" says the Scotsman removing the hood. \"What use is that?\" says the Englishman. \"You know I burn easily, It'll keep the sun off.\" \"Good point.\" The two turn round to ask the Irishman what he's taking. They are both shocked to find the Irishman breaking his back trying to tear the passenger's door off. \"Paddy? What the hell you gonna do with that?\" they ask. \"Well, when I get too hot I can wind the window down.\"

2 eggs boiling in a pot. 1 says to the other \"i've got a huge crack\".


The other replies \"stop f#cking teasing me.. i'm not hard yet\".

I see that BA is on strike again......To be honest I dont realy think that ..The A Team..will miss the lazy bugger xxxx

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, \"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.\"
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: \"And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.\"

A man meets a woman in a bar and buys her a drink..During his time talking with her he keeps looking at his watch....
She asks...Have you got to be somewhere???
Man says...No..its a new Dating watch and its giving me information about you..
She asks...What does it say ??
Man replies...It says that you have no knickers on ...
She says..Thats wrong for a start...
To which he replies...Oh..its running an Hour Fast xxxx