Joke of the day

Chris Tarrant said to Wayne Bridge.....on Celebrity Millionaire....For £32000..What is the colour of your ex girlfriends pubic hair..Is it a...Brown.....b...Red....c....Blonde....d....Ginger....
Wayne said...I dont remember Chris..Can I phone a friend ?? xxxx

Got home & found the wife dead in the washing machine earlier. I'm fucking gutted....But at least she died in Comfort :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Want to cheer yourself up....Watch your Wedding Video backwards..Youll love seeing her take her ring off ,walk down the aisle,jump into car and pi.. off xxxx;)

IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK......British Olympic Gold Medal winner Amy Williams thanked David Beckham for his invaluable advice on the best way to ride a Skeleton xxxx

A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack,
so he says \"Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please.\"
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000,\" she tells her boss. \"And what do you think this elephant is about?\"
The manager looks back at her and says \"It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

My wife has thrown me out, because she's fed up with me masturbating in bed every night. She said it was getting on her tits :ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: