Joke of the day

Manu:\"My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.\"
Sonu: \"Does it work?\"
Manu: \"I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.\"

GLASS EYE

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.


Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.


'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.



'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.


They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks.
They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.


The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.
The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'


'No,' she replies…











Wait for it…




















It's coming…














The suspense is killing you, isn't it?












She says,

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

Father: My 5-yr-old son is very naughty. He made all our female servants pregrant.
Doctor: How?
Father: He took a pin and punched holes on all my condoms.

I was driving towards Dublin but unsure of the best way to go...Then noticed Paddy sitting on a wall....
Excuse me Paddy...said I...Whats the best way to Dublin???
Paddy..Are you going to be walking or driving a car ??
Me...( little bemused as I was sitting in my car).Im going by car....
Paddy...Well...Thats the Best way xxxx :laugh:

Thrilling family story..

mom,dad & tintu(hero)

Tintu saw pinki and loved her fortunately she comes opposite to his house

love proposed..

love goes smoothly...

One day dady saw tintu with pinki..

Daddy: Who's that girl..?

Tintu: I love that girl & i will marry her..!

Daddy shocked

(Climax)

Daddy: Imposible, she is ur sister..U can't marry her...!

Tintu shocked

(TWIST IN STORY)

Mom: Don't worry tintu, I will arrange ur marriage...
\"u r not ur dad's son...!\"

Now Dad shocked...!

END.

A snail walked up to the pub bar and said....A glass of your best Bitter please...
At that the landlord picked the snail off the bar and threw him through an open window...
Two weeks later the snail returns to the bar and says to the Landlord....Why did you do that ?? xxxx :laugh:

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to \"honor thy
father and thy mother,\" she asked, \"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?\" Without missing a beat one little boy answered: \"Thou shall not kill.\"

In A 1OO Meter Race,It Was Announced
1
2
3
Start.
All Started Running Except Little Johnny.
Coach: Why Are You Still Waiting?
Little Johnny: My No Is 4!

Went outside this morning and was hit on the head with.....Frozen Pasta....Black Forest Gateux...Frozen Peas.....
Must be some of the Fall-Out from...Iceland xxxx

tonypark wrote:

Went outside this morning and was hit on the head with.....Frozen Pasta....Black Forest Gateux...Frozen Peas.....
Must be some of the Fall-Out from...Iceland xxxx

very clever tony lol xxxxx

ducky wrote:

tonypark wrote:

Went outside this morning and was hit on the head with.....Frozen Pasta....Black Forest Gateux...Frozen Peas.....
Must be some of the Fall-Out from...Iceland xxxx

very clever tony lol xxxxx

I thank you Kind lady..Im performing here all week xxxx Back by unpopular demand xxxx :whistle:

A foreigner and Little Johnny met while going to the toilet..

Foreigner: Good morning, how do u do?

Little Johnny: Usually we remove underwear and then do, And how do u do?