Joke of the day

I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”.

It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.

The Queen visits a major hospital to open a new ward.

She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the facilities.

On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby room.

She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving, finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.

She asks the nurse \"Why is that man doing that?\"

The nurse replies \"Oh, he's got to relieve himself every so often because he has a disorder.\"

\"Oh, OK then,\" said Her Majesty, and moved on, but on the way she hears more orgasmic groans.

She looks in the room and sees a nurse giving a man a blowjob.

So Her Majesty asks her escort \"Why is that nurse giving that man a blowjob?\"

Her nurse escort says \"Oh, he's got the same disorder as the man before, only this one's got private health insurance!\"

What is Celibacy?


Celibacy can be a choice in life,
or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Weekend,
Ken and his wife, Janet, listened to the instructor declare,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know
the things that are important to each other.'
He then addressed the men,
'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'

Ken leaned over, touched Janet’s arm gently,
and whispered, \"Homepride, isn't it ?\"


And thus began Ken’s life of celibacy

Three Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, \"However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven\".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, \"I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her\". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, \"I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.\" He gets a Mustang and drives off into heaven.

The next guy came up and said, \"I cheated on my wife a lot\". He gets a scooter.

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

He asked, \"Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!\" and the man sobbed,

\"My wife just went by on roller skates\".

Little Johnny bought a beautiful sweater for his mother. He sent it to her mother by parcel post along with a note. In the note, it was written; \&quot;The buttons on the sweater are removed since they are too heavy\&quot; and added to the postage \&quot;You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater\&quot;<br><br>Post edited by: Mini, at: 2010/04/24 06:39