JOKE OF THE DAY

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to six children, begins to call her 'mother of six' rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.

A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "Get me a beer!" "Hey, mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This type of situation persisted to a boiling point.

Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey mother of six, I think it's time to go."

The wife seized the moment and yelled back, "I'll be right with you - father of four!" :laugh:

A woman went to her new doctor for a check up. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say, "Eighty-eight."

"Eighty-eight," she purred.

"Good. Now I'm going to put my hand on your throat and I want you once more to say eighty-eight."

"Eighty-eighhhhtttt."

"Fine. Now I'm going to put my hand on your chest and I want you again to say eighty-eight."

"One, two, three, four, five........!!"

What's a porcupine's favourite food?
Prickled onions.

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell garage.

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines!"

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins."

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mt Smith's wife had just had triplets. Mr Smith stood up and said, "Well how do you like that, I work for the 3M company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP!"

There are two pieces of tarmac sitting by the side of the bar and they are having a drinking contest to see which one is the hardest.

After twelve shots of vodka, both pieces of tarmac are still un-phased, when suddenly the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac walks in. On seeing the red piece of tarmac, one piece of tarmac runs straight for the toilets.

An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of tarmac has left. The other piece of tarmac asks why he ran off. He replies, "Haven't you heard about him? He's a cycle-path!"

Yes I know it's silly, but then, so am I LOL