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Joke of the Day

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13 years 9 months ago #34519 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
*Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**


**'Hello?'**












**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mummy near the phone?'**





**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**









**After a brief pause,**











**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**









**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**
**Right now.'**









Brief Pause.









**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**







**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**







**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**







**'I did it, Daddy.'**






**'And what happened, honey?' **


'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**








**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**








**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**








**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**








**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**
**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**











*****Long Pause*****












*****Longer Pause*****












*****Even Longer Pause*****











**Then Daddy says,**









**'Swimming pool? ............**








**Is this 4955 5566 ?'*
















*No, I think you have the wrong number.........

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13 years 9 months ago #34648 by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
My girlfriend says she can judge how good a film is by the number of paper tissues she gets through...

Funnily enough I have a similar system myself xxxx :ohmy: :blink:

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13 years 9 months ago #34649 by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from the bottle of Tippex....

I woke up this morning with a huge correction xxxx :woohoo: :blink:

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13 years 9 months ago #34654 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Been to the gym, had a nice hot shower and I've just picked up a bottle of home brew off a neighbour for this afternoon. I've got a few spliffs rolled up for the XBox tournament with the lads, after which I'll muck about online with some porn and gambling sites then it's a nice blow job before I head off to bed.
I love prison!

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13 years 9 months ago #34658 by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Sex in the morning is a wonderful way to start the day.....Unless your in Prison xxxx :blink:

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13 years 8 months ago #34835 by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
What can a Jelly Baby do that a man cant ?????

Come in 5 fruity flavours xxxxx :ohmy: :blink:

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