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Joke of the Day
13 years 9 months ago #34519
by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
*Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
**'Hello?'**
**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mummy near the phone?'**
**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**
**After a brief pause,**
**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**
**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**
**Right now.'**
Brief Pause.
**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**
**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**
**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**
**'I did it, Daddy.'**
**'And what happened, honey?' **
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**
**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**
**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**
**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**
**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**
*****Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
**Then Daddy says,**
**'Swimming pool? ............**
**Is this 4955 5566 ?'*
*No, I think you have the wrong number.........
**'Hello?'**
**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mummy near the phone?'**
**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**
**After a brief pause,**
**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**
**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy,**
**Right now.'**
Brief Pause.
**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**
**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**
**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**
**'I did it, Daddy.'**
**'And what happened, honey?' **
'Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**
**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**
**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**
**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**
**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**
*****Long Pause*****
*****Longer Pause*****
*****Even Longer Pause*****
**Then Daddy says,**
**'Swimming pool? ............**
**Is this 4955 5566 ?'*
*No, I think you have the wrong number.........
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- Visitor
13 years 9 months ago #34648
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
My girlfriend says she can judge how good a film is by the number of paper tissues she gets through...
Funnily enough I have a similar system myself xxxx :ohmy: :blink:
Funnily enough I have a similar system myself xxxx :ohmy: :blink:
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- Visitor
13 years 9 months ago #34649
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from the bottle of Tippex....
I woke up this morning with a huge correction xxxx :woohoo: :blink:
I woke up this morning with a huge correction xxxx :woohoo: :blink:
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13 years 9 months ago #34654
by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Been to the gym, had a nice hot shower and I've just picked up a bottle of home brew off a neighbour for this afternoon. I've got a few spliffs rolled up for the XBox tournament with the lads, after which I'll muck about online with some porn and gambling sites then it's a nice blow job before I head off to bed.
I love prison!
I love prison!
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- Visitor
13 years 9 months ago #34658
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Sex in the morning is a wonderful way to start the day.....Unless your in Prison xxxx :blink:
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- Visitor
13 years 8 months ago #34835
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
What can a Jelly Baby do that a man cant ?????
Come in 5 fruity flavours xxxxx :ohmy: :blink:
Come in 5 fruity flavours xxxxx :ohmy: :blink:
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