Joke of the Day

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl give him a hand-job.
I told him thats the third school in two years. You need to stop this behaviour or they will stop you Teaching altogether xxxx :blink:

My mate and his wife were at the bus stop and having the Mothers of arguments....Bus pulled up and driver asked..Are you getting on ???
No,said my mate...shes a real cow xxxx

Monica walks into her local Dry Cleaners and says to the assistant....Ive got another dress for you to clean...

Slightly hard of hearing the assistant said....Come again ????

Monica said..No,I think its mustard xxxx :blink:

Man sits next 2 a guy with a dog on a plane & asks is he a guide dog?
No i'm a drugs officer, he's a sniffer dog, watch this & says to the dog 'Search'
The dog goes off, comes back & puts 1 paw on his lap. 'Heroin' the guy says & makes a note of the passanger. The dog comes back again & puts 2 paws on his lap. 'Coke' the guy says. The dog comes back again & shits all over the seat. What the fuck is that the man asks. Guy replies
He's found a fucking bomb

I was at a friends house when United Parcels delivered a package from Holland..Intrigued,I asked him if it was anything interesting.....
He Replied.....Its a plastic inflatable virgina...
I Replied...Oh Two-Lips from Amsterdam xxxx:blink:

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 13 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,

'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
'No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down:

ID10T

I used to like Eric, the little bastard.