Joke of the Day

Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. \"Where did u get this from?\" asks the expert. \"It's been in my loft for 40 years. Think it's an heirloom\" says Paddy. \"Do u have insurance?\" asks the expert. \"No, should I?\" asks Paddy. \"Yeah,\" says the expert \"it's your water tank.\"

I got a job as a comedian in an Old Peoples Home ....they pissed themselves at my jokes xxxx :blink:

Paddy is eating a bag of donuts when murphy asks him \"if i can guess how many donuts you have in the bag can I have one?\"Paddy said \"if you can guess how many I have in the bag you can have them both\"Murphy says \"four?\"

Karl...Ive just had a phone call from Tesco saying that there is a guy drunk...wearing a thong....with custard over his head...riding a plastic duck....singing Im too sexy for my vest....

I will come and pick you up this time....But this behaviour has to stop xxxx :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really,really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel lots better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Three lads in a Lap Dancing Club were watching a busty blonde gyrating on the pole.The Stoke lad stuck £20 on her left buttock. Not to be out done the manchester lad stuck £30 on her right buttock.The Scouser swiped his visa down the crack of her arse and took the £50 cash back!