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Joke of the Day

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15 years 7 months ago #32680 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. \"Where did u get this from?\" asks the expert. \"It's been in my loft for 40 years. Think it's an heirloom\" says Paddy. \"Do u have insurance?\" asks the expert. \"No, should I?\" asks Paddy. \"Yeah,\" says the expert \"it's your water tank.\"

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15 years 7 months ago #32681 by tonypark
Replied by tonypark on topic Re:Joke of the Day
I got a job as a comedian in an Old Peoples Home ....they pissed themselves at my jokes xxxx :blink:

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15 years 7 months ago #32692 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Paddy is eating a bag of donuts when murphy asks him \"if i can guess how many donuts you have in the bag can I have one?\"Paddy said \"if you can guess how many I have in the bag you can have them both\"Murphy says \"four?\"

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15 years 7 months ago #32723 by tonypark
Replied by tonypark on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Karl...Ive just had a phone call from Tesco saying that there is a guy drunk...wearing a thong....with custard over his head...riding a plastic duck....singing Im too sexy for my vest....

I will come and pick you up this time....But this behaviour has to stop xxxx :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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15 years 7 months ago #32844 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really,really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel lots better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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15 years 6 months ago #32928 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Three lads in a Lap Dancing Club were watching a busty blonde gyrating on the pole.The Stoke lad stuck £20 on her left buttock. Not to be out done the manchester lad stuck £30 on her right buttock.The Scouser swiped his visa down the crack of her arse and took the £50 cash back!

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15 years 6 months ago #32943 by tonypark
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One of my testicles is bigger than the other two........Is that normal ???? xxxx :laugh:

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15 years 6 months ago #33017 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. \"Where did u get this from?\" asks the expert. \"It's been in my loft for 40 years. Think it's an heirloom\" says Paddy. \"Do u have insurance?\" asks the expert. \"No, should I?\" asks Paddy. \"Yeah,\" says the expert \"it's your water tank.\"

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15 years 6 months ago #33043 by tonypark
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Roy Hodgeson....worst Pool manager since Michael Barrymore xxxx:blink:

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15 years 6 months ago #33402 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Gray and Keys, pair of sexist pigs.....Sack them and replace them with two women! Just as long as they have big tits and a nice arse :whistle:

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15 years 6 months ago #33414 by tonypark
Replied by tonypark on topic Re:Joke of the Day
I caught my friend drinking brake fluid yesterday.....I said he would kill himself as that stuff is lethal.....He said it wasnt a problem and he could stop when he wanted xxxx :ohmy: :blink:

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15 years 6 months ago #33416 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Scientists have revealed that cum helps hair grow. That explains why lots of men have hairy knuckles, but its got me wondering about my wife's moustache.

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