Joke of the Day

The Divorced Barbie Doll



One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

Joke of the Year.......

Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business............

xxxx :laugh:

The Navy Chief....

The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him \"Get over here! What's your name sailor?\"
\"John\" the new seaman replied.
\"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name,\" the chief scowled. \"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Chief.' Do I make myself clear?\"
\"Aye, Aye Chief!\"
\"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?\"
The seaman sighed. \"Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief.\"
\"Okay........ John, here's what I want you to do.....\"

A Scientist has invented a bra which stops breasts bobbing up and down and hides erect nipples in the cold......His fellow scientific collegues have beaten him up xxxx :blink:

SEX AT 75!
I just took a leaflet out of my letterbox informing me that I can have sex at 75! I'm so happy because I live at 67 so its not far to walk home afterwards!

Ive sent a begging letter to Alex Furguson saying that I cant play football and can he double my income ???
Answers on a postcard and send to....uselessgits.com :ohmy: