Joke of the Day

I have no idea what all the Fuss and world-wide Publicity is about....Bank Clerk puts Pussy into bin.......TOP CAT lived in a BIN for YEARS xxxx :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Why are there two









Joke of the Day threads?

Gandra..there are mysteries in this world to which there is no known conclusive answer....Now....what was the question again ?????

The question is...

...

I've forgotten already

Ahhh memory loss...Now thats something .....thats something....thats something......Im not sure now xxx lol :ohmy:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives.
By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.



A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished, and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of botal Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclits.

Yu haf no idr hou fkin gud I feal.

Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis

The French entry for the team...Round The World Yaught Race....were devastated last night when they were passed on the finishing line by 6 Pakistanis on a Garage Door xxxx :ohmy: :blink:

Teacher :


Can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?




Little Johnny :


Smo-king , Drin-king & Fuc-king...

The International Red Cross knocked on my door today...They asked me whether I wanted to contribute to the Floods in South East Australia......

I said that I would ..but my garden Hose pipe would only reach to the end of my drive xxxx :ohmy:

An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.

They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.

He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.

When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It 's a miracle!'

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.

As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.

'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'

Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,

'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.

The Police knocked on my friends front door and showed him a photo....
police officer...Excuse me Sir ,but is this your wife...
friend...My goodness ,yes it is..whats happened..
police...Well it looks as if shes been in a car accident.....
friend...Yes ,I know..but she has a great personality xxxx :ohmy:

VERY SAD NEWS

The guy who owned the Odean Cinema chain died today..



His funeral will be This Friday at....2.10...4.30..6.20.and 7.40

xxxx :laugh:<br><br>Post edited by: tonypark, at: 2010/09/07 18:29