Joke of the Day

The Metropolitan Police were open-mouthed today at the theft of All the W.C. Pans from Lewisham Police station overnight....
A Spokesman said...They had nothing to go on xxxx :laugh:

I was attacked by some little ginger boy doing martial arts, it turned out to be the carroty kid!

A Massive Hole appeared in Trafalgar Square this morning..approx. 20 metres diameter and 40 metres deep.

The London Fire Brigade are looking into it xxxx :ohmy:

Girlfriends lunch

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for
lunch. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean
View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.


10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good, the
wine selection was good also, and the waiters were cute.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and
quiet, the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean, and the waiters
were sweet boys.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair
accessible, they even had an elevator, and the waiters were kind.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they should meet
at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

A man is taken in to hospital with a burning fever while his wife waits outside until a doctor comes to speak to her.

\"We've got some good news, you're husband's temperature seems to be coming down.\"

\"You mean he's going to be okay?\"

\"Nope, he's dead.\"

A good looking but very nast natured guy goes up to an ugly girl in a pub and asks if she has a Pen....
Surprised and excited by his interest in her she say...Yes.I have a Pen....
To which the nasty sod says.....Shouldnt you be back in it before the Farmer notices your gone xxxx :blink:

I wanted to search for some pictures and information on the little known Swiss Football Team Tottenham were playing.......Your Honour xxxx :laugh:

I went to the doctors while I was in Bangkok to get my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my balls she said \"Don't worry, its normal to get an erection during this kind of examination\" I said \"But I haven't got one\" She replied \"no but I have..\"

Young Tom got home early from school to find his mum and dad...At It..in the front room.....
Dad said.....Dont worry Tom I am just filling mum up with petrol....
Tom replied....She doesnt do many miles to the gallon does she...Uncle Dave was filling her up this morning xxxx

Should the UK adopt The Euro?

A cross-section survey of 1000 people in Bradford , made up of Afghans, Albanians, Pakistanis, Zimbabweans, Iraqis, Somalis, Bosnians, Turks, Moldavians, Latvians, Lithuanians, Bangladeshis, Ethiopians, Russians, Congolese, Portuguese, Poles and Nigerians were asked if they thought Britain should change its currency to the Euro.

99.9% said no, they were happy with the Giro.

Hi and Welcome back Gandra hun xxxx

Typical me, innit! One minute I'm here and then I'm off



again!