Joke of the Day

This Worl Cup reminds me of my marriage.....I should be enjoying it but theres a constant droning noise in the backgroundthats pi..ing me off xxxx

Ref..World Cup and England...GOOD NEWS....Rob Green had a private practice session of 3 hours and faced 4000 shot ...of which none passed him....
Thursday,he and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad xxxx :laugh:

A friend went to a Fortune Teller last week and she told him that he had been masturbating every day..
He...Cor..Your good..can you tell me about my future....

She looked at him and said....Your going to be doing it for a long time xxxx

Give £2 per month to a hungry African and what do they do ???

Spend it on a POXY PLASTIC TRUMPET xxxx :ohmy: :blink:

I went to the doctors yesterday to get my testicles checked out.....He massaged them very thoroughly and gently...
Doctor said....Its not unusual getting an erection when massaging balls....
Me....But I havent got an erection....

Doctor...No..but I have ... xxxx :blink:

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as
to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up
from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer,
and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up
and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm
disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.

The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair.'



You're going to love the Dad's reply:



'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'

England are to play Iceland in a friendly to try and raise morale. If they play well they will then have games against Sainsburys, Asda &Tesco

The Met. Police pulled a young man out of the Thames..He was wearing Black Fishnet Stockings,black suspenders,Tight slinky dress,a frilly bra ,had a vibrator stuck in his anus .....
The Police Officer removed the drowned mans England Top to save his family any further shame xxxx

Paddy s wife has never had an orgasm in all the years they have been married. So Paddy takes her off to a sex therapist and they cover every inch of their relationship.
The Therapist says that Mrs. Paddy is getting far too hot during sex and needs to cool down.
Being the Tight-Wad Pady will not invest in a fan ..instead he asks his mate Murphy round to Waft a towel for the couple.....Mr and Mrs Paddy are going at it for ages without a sign of an orgasm...
Murphy suggests they change and Paddy Wafts the towel....Well,within minutes Mrs Paddy is moaning and screaming to uncontroled pleasure...
Paddy looks at Murphy and says.....Well,my son...Thats How You Waft a Towel xxxx :laugh:

Youve got to admire Emile Heskey.....has an awful World Cup....comes home...puts a frock on and Wins The Womens Title at Wimbledon xxxx :laugh:

Dear Mr Moat,
It has come to my attention that John Terry has been shagging your missus behind your back whilst you were in jail.
Yours faithfully Wayne Bridge

Gordon Brown has just moved in next door to me....I said to him,this morning...You remind me of Wayne Rooney....
He said...Why? Because Im a great footballer .....
No I said...Youve ballsed up my Summer :laugh:<br><br>Post edited by: tonypark, at: 2010/07/07 17:16