It,s the way you tell em

Realy REALY non PC....


In a recent Mens survey in which they were asked what they enjoyed most about BJs..
17 pc liked the excitement...
24 pc enjoyed the feeling....
51 pc enjoyed the Silence xxxxx

If it weren't for electricity,we would all be watching television by candlelight:lol:

Irish border patrol stop 5 men in an Audi Quatro...
Guard says...This car is a Quatro and only intended for 4 passengers...
No,says driver its just a name..my log book says its for 5....
Sorry....said Guard...your going no further...
Get me your superior said the driver.....
Hes dealing with two men in a Fiat Uno at the moment xxx boom boom xxxx

You have to stay in shape, my Grandmother started walking 5miles a day when she was 60.She is 97 today and we dont know where the hell she is.:whistle: :whistle:

Whats green and goes up and down?????



















Cabbage in a lift xxxx

First year of marriage
Man speaks woman listens
2nd year of marriage
Woman speaks man listens
3rd Year of marriage
Both speak neighbours listen:lol:

Fourth year of marraige they both stop speakin an the kids start bellowin LOL

Year five ....TV and Radio become the centre of conversation xxxx;)

Shoot me now ffs xxxx:blink:

It is but just a gust of wind that cometh from the heart.
It's when it takes a downward turn it ends up in a Fart:blush: :blush: <br><br>Post edited by: Scotty, at: 2008/08/15 10:31

A farmer gets a call from his son,ive accidently run over a pig and it is stuck under the tractor squealing,shoot it and bury it says farmer,son phones back and says its done,but wot shall i do with the speed camera.

Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.

\&quot;No,\&quot; the talented blonde artist said. \&quot;I don\&quot;t do that sort of thing.\&quot;

\&quot;But what if I double your fee?\&quot; he pleaded.

\&quot;Nope, sorry. Won't do it.\&quot;

\&quot;How about I give you five times what you normally get?\&quot;

\&quot;Oh, okay then,\&quot; said the artist, \&quot;but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes.\&quot;

Tommy. Can you teach me to do the splits
Gym Teacher \&quot;how flexible are you\&quot;
Tommy.Well I cant make Tuesdays.:lol: