It,s the way you tell em

What have...The Metropolitan Police.....Chelsea Football Club....and a Lady with an itchy shaved pubic area .....Got in Common......???????

They All regret Going for a Brazilian xxxxx :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I said to my boss 'I hope you will consider me for a rise, There are several companys after me'
'Really' he asked 'can you tell me who they are'
'the electicity company, the gas company. the telphone company for a start I said

ducky wrote:

I said to my boss 'I hope you will consider me for a rise, There are several companys after me'
'Really' he asked 'can you tell me who they are'
'the electicity company, the gas company. the telphone company for a start I said

Like this Ducky:lol: :lol:

Tommy Cooper style....
1..So I phoned the swimming baths and asked if they were local...Depends where you live..came the reply

2...Phoned the local building suppliers and said I wanted a Skip outside my house...They said..Go on then ...

3... Most dentist chairs go up and down but this one went back and forth...Get out of the Filing Cabinet said the dentist..

4.. I got a compliment on my driving today.Got back to car after shopping and there was a message on the screen...Parking Fine it said ...

5..Two thugs got arrested..One was drinking battery acid the othe gunpowder...The Police Charged one and Let the other Off...

6...Couple of native Canabals were eating a comedian...One said to the other..Does this taste funny to you ?? xxxx

7..Dentist asked me to say..Ahhhhhh ...I said Why??? He said my dog died this morning

8..A guy was walking down the street and his hood was bouncing up and down...People were throwing money into it....I asked..Is that your way of making cash ??? ..He said...Its my LIVELY HOOD xxxx:)

Be proud to be British....
We know via DVLA where every untaxed car is located..
We have no idea where all the illegal immigrants are located..or the terrorists......
Simple....Put DVLA in charge of Immigration and Terrorist activities xxxx

That's the answer Tony, send good old Gordon an email:lol: :whistle:

tonypark wrote:

Be proud to be British....
We know via DVLA where every untaxed car is located..
We have no idea where all the illegal immigrants are located..or the terrorists......
Simple....Put DVLA in charge of Immigration and Terrorist activities xxxx

can I ask a question if DVLA know where every untaxed car is located why isnt somthink been done to proscute them..think I can answer my own Q come to think about it
because there are to many and when there where a few they did not take action..which applys to immergration and terrorists
which leads me smartly on to the next question why is it here and not in debate or news forum..cus these and other departments are a joke :dry: :huh: :blink:

ducky wrote:

tonypark wrote:

Be proud to be British....
We know via DVLA where every untaxed car is located..
We have no idea where all the illegal immigrants are located..or the terrorists......
Simple....Put DVLA in charge of Immigration and Terrorist activities xxxx

can I ask a question if DVLA know where every untaxed car is located why isnt somthink been done to proscute them..think I can answer my own Q come to think about it
because there are to many and when there where a few they did not take action..which applys to immergration and terrorists
which leads me smartly on to the next question why is it here and not in debate or news forum..cus these and other departments are a joke :dry: :huh: :blink:

Thats because I recieved it on my mobile phone as a joke Ducky....dont think it was meant to be a serious proposition..Although I can see merits xxxx;) :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

An Afghan man was shaking a carpet over his flat balcony...Passing pedestrian shouted up...Whats up,wont it start xxxx


A 16 year old boy was with the nurse and being examined.....
Nurse said...You realy do need to stop masturbating...
Why ???? said the boy.....
Because Im trying to check you ..said the nurse xxxxx :ohmy:

Ann Summers new vibrator for women is so realistic that just before her climax it cums,farts,goes limp ,rolls over and switches itself off xxxx :ohmy: :whistle:

Things are bad at home.She says that she is sick of all the sport I watch....Rugby,Football,Boxing,Cricket...always sport on the telly.
Anyway, I booked a quiet table for 2 last nightto try and patch things up.By 9 oclock things were 10 times worse....She hadnt potted a single red.... xxxx:ohmy: :whistle: :laugh:

43 people have been found glued to ceilings and walls of a Dublin train...Police believe Irish Muslims have set off the first...No More Nails Bomb xxxx :laugh: :blink: :laugh: