Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Remember me

TOPIC: It,s the way you tell em

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5784

  • Scotty
  • Scotty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1732
  • Thank you received: 2
Waiter waiter what is this fly doing in my soup,I think it,s the breast stroke sir.:lol:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5795

  • Karl
  • Karl's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 7732
  • Thank you received: 208
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
“What happened?” the man asks. “You were in there for hours and yet you’re not only alive but you’re sweating like crazy?”

The cockatiel pants, “Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs a frozen chicken?”

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5797

  • ducky
  • ducky's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3012
  • Thank you received: 10
I was lol karl am going to copy it for friends :laugh ..will i be able to pasted and copy it from here.. have not done that before<br><br>Post edited by: ducky, at: 2008/07/21 15:58

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5801

  • Scotty
  • Scotty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1732
  • Thank you received: 2
I killed a duvet the other day, to tell the truth I am feeling very quilty about it.:whistle:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5814

  • bjm49
  • bjm49's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 388
  • Thank you received: 0
A man fell into a machine at a upholstery factory he is now fully recovered.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5828

  • Scotty
  • Scotty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1732
  • Thank you received: 2
A closed mouth gathers no feet:laugh:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5832

  • ducky
  • ducky's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3012
  • Thank you received: 10
A YOUNG MAN IN LOVE
A young man was in love with two woman and could not decide which one to marry,Finally he went to a marriage counseller.

when asked to discribe his two loves.he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

\"Oh said the counsellor,\" I see what the problem is.

You can't decide wheather to marry for batter or verse
:huh: :dry:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5833

  • bjm49
  • bjm49's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 388
  • Thank you received: 0
hey up ducky your going for it now:laugh:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5838

  • Scotty
  • Scotty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1732
  • Thank you received: 2
Well done Ducky I love it:lol: :lol: :lol:
What do you get if you cross a brook and a stream,wet feet.:)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 3 months ago #5850

  • ducky
  • ducky's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3012
  • Thank you received: 10
thank you bjm and scotty..I am trying B) ;)

I am not a beliver in seances, but I went to see what they are like.The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear. I assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public and gave him a poke in the nose.you can probaly guess the rest.

. I was arrested for striking a happy medium! :blink: :huh: :dry:<br><br>Post edited by: ducky, at: 2008/07/23 19:39

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 2 months ago #5868

  • Scotty
  • Scotty's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1732
  • Thank you received: 2
Why did the Elephant cross the road.It was the Chickens day off:woohoo:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Re:It,s the way you tell em 11 years 2 months ago #5875

  • Karl
  • Karl's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 7732
  • Thank you received: 208
Confessions


Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl\".

The priest asks, \"Is that you, little Joey Parisi ?\"

\"Yes, Father, it is.\"

\"And who was the girl you were with?\"

\"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.\"

\"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?\"

\"I cannot say.\"

\"Was it Teresa Volpe?\"

\"I'll never tell.\"

\"Was it Nina Capelli?\"

\"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.\"

\"Was it Cathy Piriano?\"

\"My lips are sealed.\"

\"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?\"

\"Please, Father, I cannot tell you.\"



The priest sighs in frustration. \"You're very tight lipped, Joey Parisi, and I admire that.

But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.

Now you go and behave yourself.\"



Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, \"What'd you get?\"

\"4 months vacation and five good leads

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Able_Here_Team
Time to create page: 0.354 seconds