It,s the way you tell em

IN THE BEGINNING
God covered the earth with broccli,cauilflower,and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that man and Woman would live long and healthy lifes.
Then using God's bounty Satan created dairy ice cream and magnum and satan said do you want hot fudge with that and man replied yes and woman said 'll have one too with chocolate chips and lo they gained 10 pounds

then god created the healthy yougurt that woman might keep the figuare that man found fair
and satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the can and combined them and woman went from size 12 to 14

so god said try my fresh green salad and satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side and man and woman unfastened there belts following the repast

god then said I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them and satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king size prawnes butter dipped lobster chuncks and chicken-fried stakes so big it needed its own platter and man's cholestol went throught the roof

then god brought forth the potato.naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition
then satan peeled of the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal oil fats adding copious qualitys of salt and man put on more pounds

god then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds
and satan came forth with a cable tv so man would not have to toil to change channals and man and woman started to wear strech jogging suits

then god gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and satisfy his appetite
and satan created mcdonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger then satan said do you want fries with it and man said yes and supper size them and man and woman went into cardiac arrest

god sighed ..and created quadruple bypass surgery and then satan chuckled and created the national health service

ducky wrote:

IN THE BEGINNING
God covered the earth with broccli,cauilflower,and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so that man and Woman would live long and healthy lifes.
Then using God's bounty Satan created dairy ice cream and magnum and satan said do you want hot fudge with that and man replied yes and woman said 'll have one too with chocolate chips and lo they gained 10 pounds

then god created the healthy yougurt that woman might keep the figuare that man found fair
and satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the can and combined them and woman went from size 12 to 14

so god said try my fresh green salad and satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side and man and woman unfastened there belts following the repast

god then said I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them and satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king size prawnes butter dipped lobster chuncks and chicken-fried stakes so big it needed its own platter and man's cholestol went throught the roof

then god brought forth the potato.naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition
then satan peeled of the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal oil fats adding copious qualitys of salt and man put on more pounds

god then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds
and satan came forth with a cable tv so man would not have to toil to change channals and man and woman started to wear strech jogging suits

then god gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and satisfy his appetite
and satan created mcdonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger then satan said do you want fries with it and man said yes and supper size them and man and woman went into cardiac arrest

god sighed ..and created quadruple bypass surgery and then satan chuckled and created the national health service

:lol: :lol: Love it:lol:

An old man visited the Wizard and pleaded with him to remove the curse that had been put on him 40 years ago....
OK said the Wizard...but I need to know the exact words said prior to the curse being activated.....
The Old Man thought for a while then said...it was....Now I pronounce you man and wife xxxx:ohmy: :whistle: :lol:

tonypark wrote:

An old man visited the Wizard and pleaded with him to remove the curse that had been put on him 40 years ago....
OK said the Wizard...but I need to know the exact words said prior to the curse being activated.....
The Old Man thought for a while then said...it was....Now I pronounce you man and wife xxxx:ohmy: :whistle: :lol:

Oh Ha Ha the phrase male chauvinist pig, comes to mind.

Dorrie wrote:

tonypark wrote:

An old man visited the Wizard and pleaded with him to remove the curse that had been put on him 40 years ago....
OK said the Wizard...but I need to know the exact words said prior to the curse being activated.....
The Old Man thought for a while then said...it was....Now I pronounce you man and wife xxxx:ohmy: :whistle: :lol:

Oh Ha Ha the phrase male chauvinist pig, comes to mind.

Funny..the expression..kiss my a.se comes racing forward xxxx :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

tonypark wrote:

Dorrie wrote:

tonypark wrote:

An old man visited the Wizard and pleaded with him to remove the curse that had been put on him 40 years ago....
OK said the Wizard...but I need to know the exact words said prior to the curse being activated.....
The Old Man thought for a while then said...it was....Now I pronounce you man and wife xxxx:ohmy: :whistle: :lol:

Oh Ha Ha the phrase male chauvinist pig, comes to mind.

Funny..the expression..kiss my a.se comes racing forward xxxx :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

OHHHHHHHHH how rude to a refined lady of the church like me, I am deeply wounded.