It,s the way you tell em

tonypark wrote:

ducky wrote:

Dorrie wrote:

Sorry about that folks the Gremlins have got in my PC.

are they by any chance related to the ones in my PC :lol:

Think Doreen might have been an Uncivil Servant...everything in Triplicate xxxx

Oh yes I am very uncivil, my gremlins and Ducky's gremlins are related, so there:P

I am pleased to report that the skin cancer scare that was affecting Michael Jackson has been confirmed as negative.........
All together now.........Dont blame it on the Sunshinexxxxx :lol:

Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelery.:lol:

On my 21st birthday..I would like a...lie detector test xxxxx;)

A man went to a wise man and asked a question, the wise man said\"Ask a woman\"

two flies where kicking a peppercorn round a saucer
A passing wasp asked 'what they where doing '
'just getting some practice' they said 'we are playing in the cup next week'

Why did the man freeze his money??

Whats big and red and goes into tight spaces......




Answer....A London Bus xxxxx:laugh:

Dorrie wrote:

Why did the man freeze his money??

He wanted cold, hard cash:lol:

I dont know where to put this and have tryed to shorten it
it was writting to a bank by a 98 yr old lady

Sir I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endevered to pay my plumber last month..by my calculations three seconds must hacve elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honuor it ..I refer to the autamatic monthly deposit of my pension which I admit has been in place for only thirty eight yrs..you are to be recomended for seizing that brief window of opportunity by debiting my account for £30 for the incovenience caused to your bank
my thankfullness springs from the manner in which this has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways
I notice that I personaly attend to your telephone calls and letters, but when I try to contact you I am confronted by the impersonal,overcharging,pre-recorded facless enity which your bank has become.
from now on I like you choose to only deal with a flesh-and-blood person
the 89 tr old then goes on to explain what she is going to do
briefly she wants them to nominate an employee in the bank, she will send her cheques to that person personally and confedently she tells the bank to be aware that it an offence under the postal act for any othere person to open it but the nomine..she says please find attached an application contact status for there choosing nomine to fill out and is sorry for it being 8 pages long but she needs to know everythink about the nomine just like that bank want to know everythink about her. in due course she will send them a pin nimber that the nomine must quote to her in all dealings she then goes on to make it a level playing field they must press these numbers when contacting her it goes on alot longer
it is really brilliant work from an 89 yr old if you can find it please read it all

It could be an urban myth as I've found it on both US and UK sites.

Anyhow, the full version can be found by googling

\"letter to bank from 98 year old lady\"

Sorry but I don't seem to be able to post any of the links I found :blush:

A friend of mine got home to find that his wife had gone off with his Bob Marley collection and Satalite system.......No Woman No Sky xxxx :lol: