Joke of the Day

My friend got home from work and found his wife dead in the washing machine...he was distraught....I said at least she died in Comfort xxxx :blink:

My next door neighbour has had the London A-Z atlas tattooed on his back...Hes a bit of a weirdo but at least you know where you are with him xxxx :blink:

Since it's snowed all my missus has done is look through the window! If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in!!

Chap goes into Ann Summers and asks for an inflatable doll.
Lady behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, \"Female.'
Assistant asks, 'Black or white?
Customer says, 'White.'
Assistant asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Assistant says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'

Yoko Ono has been invited onto.....Im a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here......The producers think she will do very well as she has been living off a dead Beatle for the past 30 years xxxx :blink:

I got run over by a Council Snow Plough this morning....

Bastard I said...through Gritted Teeth xxxx :blink: