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Joke of the Day

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14 years 2 months ago #31708 by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
The French Round-The-World Yaught sailing team were distraught to be beaten on the finish line by 7 Pakistanis on a garage door xxxx :laugh:<br><br>Post edited by: tonypark, at: 2010/10/14 14:22

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14 years 2 months ago #31724 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Wife helping husband set up computer. For the password, hubby types MYPENIS - wife fell off chair laughing when pc replied PASSWORD REJECTED - NOT LONG ENOUGH
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14 years 2 months ago #31726 by
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I was standing in a queue behind a woman with the biggest backside I had ever seen. Suddenly her phone started to beep....and a little boy behind said...bugger me shes reversing xxxx:( :blink:

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14 years 2 months ago #31736 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place,

and as he shows her around his

apartment

She notices that one wall of his

bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet,

cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the

bedroom,

with hundreds and hundreds of cute,

cuddly teddy bears carefully placed

in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken

quite some time to lovingly arrange them

and she was immediately touched

by the amount of thought he had

put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along

the bottom shelf,

medium-sized bears covering the

length of the middle shelf,

and huge, enormous bears running

all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an

obviously masculine guy

to have such a large collection of

Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his

sensitive side.

but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and

continue talking and,

after a while, she finds herself

thinking,

'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy

could be the one!

Maybe he could be the future

father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him

lightly on the lips

He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds,

and he romantically lifts her in

his arms and carries her into his bedroom

where they rip off each other's

clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she

responds with more passion,

more creativity, more heat than she

has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night

of raw passion with this sensitive guy,

they are lying there together in

the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently

strokes his chest and asks coyly,

'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her,

strokes her cheek,

looks deeply into her eyes,



and says:








'Help yourself to any prize

from the middle shelf'

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14 years 2 months ago #31737 by
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Oh well its all over....After 63 days of doing nothing a group of men in hard hats and high visibility jackets are on their way home.........The Council have finally filled in the potholes at the end of my road :blink:

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14 years 2 months ago #31745 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
The Top Ten Differences Between Cats &amp; Dogs:
10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
7. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper.Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
6. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
5. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
4. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
3. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
2. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
1. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
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