This morning on the M8,
I looked over to my left and there was a
woman,
in a brand new
Porsche 911,
doing 70 miles per hour
with her
face up next to her
rear view mirror,
putting on her eyeliner!!
I looked away
for a couple of seconds...
and when I looked back she was
halfway over in my lane,
still working on that makeup...
As a man,
I don't scare easily,
but she scared me so much,
I dropped
my electric shaver,
which knocked
the meat pie
out of my other hand.
In all
the confusion of trying
to straighten out the car
using my knees against
the steering wheel,
it knocked
my mobile phone
away from my ear
which fell
into the coffee
between my legs,
splashed and burned
Big Jim and the Twins,
ruined the feckin phone,
soaked my trousers,
and disconnected an
important call!!
Bloody women drivers!!
