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Joke of the Day
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14 years 3 months ago #31237
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
The French entry for the team...Round The World Yaught Race....were devastated last night when they were passed on the finishing line by 6 Pakistanis on a Garage Door xxxx :ohmy: :blink:
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14 years 3 months ago #31257
by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re:Joke of the Day
Teacher :
Can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny :
Smo-king , Drin-king & Fuc-king...
Can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Little Johnny :
Smo-king , Drin-king & Fuc-king...
The following user(s) said Thank You: tessa
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14 years 3 months ago #31262
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Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
The International Red Cross knocked on my door today...They asked me whether I wanted to contribute to the Floods in South East Australia......
I said that I would ..but my garden Hose pipe would only reach to the end of my drive xxxx :ohmy:
I said that I would ..but my garden Hose pipe would only reach to the end of my drive xxxx :ohmy:
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14 years 3 months ago #31273
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It 's a miracle!'
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'
Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,
'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.
When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It 's a miracle!'
Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager.
As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock.
'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's A Miracle.'
Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says,
'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.
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14 years 3 months ago #31274
by
Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
The Police knocked on my friends front door and showed him a photo....
police officer...Excuse me Sir ,but is this your wife...
friend...My goodness ,yes it is..whats happened..
police...Well it looks as if shes been in a car accident.....
friend...Yes ,I know..but she has a great personality xxxx :ohmy:
police officer...Excuse me Sir ,but is this your wife...
friend...My goodness ,yes it is..whats happened..
police...Well it looks as if shes been in a car accident.....
friend...Yes ,I know..but she has a great personality xxxx :ohmy:
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14 years 3 months ago #31280
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Replied by on topic Re:Joke of the Day
VERY SAD NEWS
The guy who owned the Odean Cinema chain died today..
His funeral will be This Friday at....2.10...4.30..6.20.and 7.40
xxxx :laugh:<br><br>Post edited by: tonypark, at: 2010/09/07 18:29
The guy who owned the Odean Cinema chain died today..
His funeral will be This Friday at....2.10...4.30..6.20.and 7.40
xxxx :laugh:<br><br>Post edited by: tonypark, at: 2010/09/07 18:29
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