Joke of the Day

A guy wins some money at the bookies when he gets home he says to his son lets go on holiday.
They go to blackpool,as they walk along the prom the wee boy says dad can i have a candy floss? dad says
yes , they walk a little further and come across a chip shop the wee boy says dad can i get a fish supper the
dad says ok.
They go for a walk on the beech the wee boy asks dad can i get a ride on a donkey? ,the dad is getting a little angry now but he says yes.
The lady that owned the donkey told the wee boy he could have the donkey for 20£
The dad is pissed of by now but lets him have it.
Dad says give the donkey a name the wee boy ponders then says wankus, dad says is that what you want to call it wankus?yes says the wee boy.
They find a b and b with a hut outside for wankus.
The wee boy was staring out the window when a storm broke out, a bolt of lightning hit the hut door and wankus escaped.
The wee boy yells out loud dad wankus off wankus off
the dad says for fs sake youv had a candy floss a fish supper hmmmmmn.:whistle:

sorry for that ,a little risky.:woohoo:

Selling Bourbon biscuits at 49p per pack.........Thats ASDA price

Selling Plastic Fire Trucks ....Thats Fisher Price

Selling Pathetic rape claim stories to the Sun just to keep her Pathetic life in the public domain......Thats Katie Price xxxx

Did you hear about the Overweight...Drunken..Transvestite ????

All he wanted was to...Eat...Drink...and be Mary xxxx :laugh: :laugh:

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony....

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. Tom


A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.


The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'


The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'


She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'


Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.


The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts....


Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.


'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.


'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.


The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.


The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the £500 membership fee.'


'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our
facilities.'


The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'

To prepare for his big date, a young man went to the rooftop of his apartment building to work on his tan.

Not wanting any tan lines, he sunbathed in the nude.

Unfortunately, he fell asleep and his, was sun burnt.

Being very determined, he decided not to miss his date with the hot blonde, so he put some ointment on the beast and wrapped it in gauze.

The young man's date, a beautiful blonde, showed up at his apartment for the promised home cooked meal, and was treated to a feast.

After they finished with the dinner they went into the living room to watch a movie.

During the movie, the young man's sunburn began to hurt.

After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused.

A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the kitchen, poured a tall glass of cold milk, and placed his sunburned member into the milk.

He experienced immediate relief.....

The blonde, wondering what the young man was doing, wandered into the kitchen and found him with his \"tool\" immersed in the glass of milk....

With a look of understanding the Blonde exclaimed,

\"SO, THAT'S HOW YOU RELOAD THOSE THINGS\"