logolong

Joke of the Day

More
13 years 1 month ago #40425 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re: Joke of the Day
Cops are treating Joe Fraizer's death as suspicious. They're grilling George Foreman!

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Visitor
  • Visitor
13 years 1 month ago #40475 by
Replied by on topic Re: Joke of the Day
Joe Frasier is being cremated on Friday and will ,at last live up to his nickname of...Smoking Joe

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
13 years 1 month ago #40489 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re: Joke of the Day
‎16 year old johnny askes his dad what a vagina looks like. "Well" said the father knowingly,"it has 2 different looks. "Before sex it looks like a beautiful rose with delicate pink folds." "What about after sex?" asks johnny. "Well" said dad. "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating porridge?"
:blink: :blink: :blink:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
13 years 1 month ago - 13 years 1 month ago #40549 by tessa
Replied by tessa on topic Re: Joke of the Day
All right guys this is certainly not the type of joke you're used to post and/or read here. It's not even a joke. But I believe it ought to be read by as many people as possible. Therefore, I decided to post it here:


An Obituary printed in the London Times.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights I Want It Now Someone Else Is To Blame I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not, join the majority and do nothing. :whistle:
Last edit: 13 years 1 month ago by tessa.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
13 years 1 month ago - 13 years 1 month ago #40664 by tessa
Replied by tessa on topic Re: Joke of the Day
Now a real joke: Enjoy! :laugh:



A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like “chalk” or “pencil,” she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.

Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, “What gender is a computer?”

The teacher wasn’t certain which it was, and so divided the class into 2 groups (male and female) and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The Men decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else,

Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The Women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you waited a little bit longer, you could have had a better model.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Last edit: 13 years 1 month ago by tessa.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
13 years 1 month ago #40707 by Karl
Replied by Karl on topic Re: Joke of the Day
Christmas is nearly here ain't it......
To be honest, it'll be like any normal day.....
Sitting at the table with a fat bird that doesn't gobble any more !!!
:woohoo: :blink:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Able_Here_Team
Time to create page: 0.294 seconds
Powered by Kunena Forum

 

 

 

Copyright © 2024 Able Here