Joke of the Day

Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas.
1. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
2. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
3. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
4. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
5. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
6. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
7. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
8. You still have a little bit on your chin.
9. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
10. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.

Its that time of the year again when the fat buger in the beard comes around with a load of Tatt...I hate the bloody mother-in-law

I love some of the jokes and try to tell family and friend some :laugh:
there are a lot I would not repeat as am little wee old fashion lady and will not say the swear words or tell the risky naughty ones I skip quickly over them :blush:
I tell them to go to this site hope you dont mind me doing that boss

ducky wrote: I love some of the jokes and try to tell family and friend some :laugh:
there are a lot I would not repeat as am little wee old fashion lady and will not say the swear words or tell the risky naughty ones I skip quickly over them :blush:
I tell them to go to this site hope you dont mind me doing that boss

more the merrier ducky

Good to see you back in the forum

I've just peeked at 1 of my pressies under the tree, it was a packet of rice !! Gotta be from uncle ben

Just stole a turkey from ASDA.Security man ran after me shouting 'what you doing with that'. So I shouted back 'Potatoes, peas, carrots & gravy."

Make Xmas special for your loved-ones this year by saying those three words.....Im off out

A little old lady answers a knock at her door to be met by a travelling vacuum cleaner salesman. Before she had a chance to speak, the man tips a bucket full of dog poo over her carpet and explains, "Madam if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of that dog poo from your carpet, i will eat whats left". "Well, she says. i hope you are hungry, cos the bastards cut my electric off this morning! :woohoo: :woohoo:

Poor Bob holness,only been at the pearly gates five minutes,when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks "can I have an E please Bob"

These people who think its OK to give drugs to animals...Should get down off their High Horse :laugh:

Its a bit ironic Natasha Giggs being inside Big Brother...As its usualy Big Brother inside her :laugh:

The cost of living is getting so high that my wife is now having sex with me ..because sha cant afford the batteries