Joke of the Day

REAL ADS FROM BRITISH NEWSPAPERS: :woohoo:



YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Exc. condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Im In A+E after swallowing Lego, they don't seem worried but I'm shitting bricks.......!

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to f*** off."

A priest is driving down the road when he comes across a pig lying dead in the road.

He contacts the police to inform them of his find. A cocky desk sergeant laughed and said "did yougive it the last rites ". "No" said the priest "i thought I'd inform his next of kin first".

I walked into a bedroom and caught my nan sucking grandad's willy, :woohoo: I said "Nan that's disgusting" She said it's perfectly normal" I said " No its wrong, you should have buried it with the rest of him" :evil:

My girlfriends occupation is getting in the way of our sex life...She is a Childrens Entertainer and makes balloon animals....when she has done with my manhood it looks like a Giragge xxxx