It,s the way you tell em

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, \"mommy, why does the bride wear white?\"

His mom replies, \"the bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.\"

The boys thinks about this, and then says, \"well then, why is the groom wearing black?\"

The returning female South African athlete who is having to go through a close examination of her sex has commented on her situation...
She said at a press conferance......After all my efforts on the track,this is like a kick in the bo...cks xxxx

A man put an advertisement in the classifieds:

\"Wife wanted\"

Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:

\"You can have mine.\"

A Man goes for an interview in a Govenment department......

Interviewer....Do you have any food reactions????
Man......Yes..I cant drink coffee,I get a rash...
Interviewer....Have you served in the armed forces ???
Man...Just done 5 years in Iraque ...
Intervewere....Any disabilities????
Man.....Yes.lost my testicles in a road-side bomb....
Interviewer...Thats great..You can start your job at 10am next Monday until 4pm each day. Your hours are 8am till 4pm but dont bother coming in until 10am each day..
Man....... I dont understand ..if my hours are 8 till 4 why do I not need to arrive until 10 am ????

Interviewer.... Easy answer..this is a Govenment position...We get in at 8am and spend the first two hour drinking coffee and scratching our balls....In your case xxxx :lol: :woohoo:

A loaded minivan pulls into the only remaining campsite. Four children leap from the vehicle and begin feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rush to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marvels to the youngsters' father, \"That, sir, is some display of teamwork.\"

\"I have a system,\" says the father. \"No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.\"

An Irishman cleaning his rifle shot and killed his wife then dialled 999.
Paddy.....Its my wife, I accidentally shot her and killed her....
Operator....Please calm down and confirm she is realy dead..sir.....
CLICK...BANG
Paddy...OK done that..whats next ???

xxxx :laugh: