It,s the way you tell em

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As its school holidays and me being a bit of a kid ...I decided to have a water-fight with the football yobs next door....
The moment the kettle boils I will be out there xxxx :whistle: :blink:

A friend of mine had an accident at work and had an ear torn off.

At the hospital they asked him if he would be willing to help with their research and have a pigs ear to replace the one he had lost.

They said that they would shape it so that it would look real, so he agreed and the job was done.

I saw him about a month after he had had his new pigs ear and it looked amazing, so I asked him if it worked OK.

He said \"it's fine but I do get a bit of crackling now and again\".

I went into a local pub.....and sat in the corner drinking alone was former Sgt. Major Horace Scuttle....war hero of the D-Day landings who had lost his right hand and left ear whilst taking a Gun Implacement......
Being a local Hero I shouted to him...what are you drinking Horace ?????
Horace responded.....No thanks...Ive Got One Ear xxxx :ohmy:

So this guy went to work with his feet bandaged up so his mate asked him what happened.

\"Well\" said the guy, \"I was cooking ma dinner\".

Puzzled, his mate said \"how did you hurt yer feet?\"

\"Oh\" said the guy. \"I was making spaghetti and the packet said stand in boiling water for 10 minutes\".

:woohoo:

Two guys erecting some fences.....whilst erecting the posta...one held the post whilst other hit with a large sledge hammer....
Guy holding the post said......When I nod my head....Hit it xxxx :ohmy: :woohoo: